Veronica on the Verge

Faith and Failure

2010-02-23T06:44:00.001-08:00

Last night, as I was leaving to go to a meeting after dinner but before the children's bedtime, Caroline runs to her backpack and says, "I have to finish all of these worksheets by tomorrow!" Now, she was holding a 60 page chapter book and about 12 pages of questions. "WHAT?!"- I screamed in my head - "Really?" I said outloud, "well, you've got 20 minutes until bedtime, I guess I know what you'll be doing. I'll set the timer." She got to work fast after some grumbling and me looking at her with that, "you got yourself into this" look. Than I left for meeting. She stayed up about 20 minutes past bedtime and than woke up on her own about 45 minutes earlier and worked away. Now it was time for school. She still had 2 chapters and 3 pages of questions to go. "But I'll get a number!" (this is a disciplinary mark) "Yes, you probably will- but I doubt you will let this happen again, huh?"
Oh it was so hard to let her fail. It is minor, I fully realize, but it would have been easy to let her stay up later, and to help her with the questions. But how would that have really helped her? Anyhow, I read the following post on Faith and Family and was reminded how quick we want to label ourselves by our accomplishments. That is not how our Heavenly Father sees us. To him, no matter what, we are His Beloved. And that makes a world of difference.

Faith & Family : Features : Fail Forward

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Jan 29

2010-01-29T20:17:00.000-08:00

So this month I got to get away for the First Patino Girl's Get-Away Weekend. The occasion was Gina's 40th and we left wondering what took us so long to do something like this?

And we set the next date before we parted ways. It was relaxing and invigorating. I learned to digital scrapbook (for the mom-on-the-move..."you mean can scrapbook on my laptop while I sit in the car waiting for Caroline in Step dance class??").

I also got a jump on Tommy's baby book... yay! The kiddos enjoyed their Daddy weekend, too. (All I know is that all the icecream was gone when I returned)

Upon my return, Sophia got very ill. She vomitted for 8 hours- unable to keep anything down. We had to take her to the ER after seeing her ped. She was shutting down from dehydration. Turned out to be strep.

After pumping her up with IV fluids and antibiotics and antinausea meds, and watching "The Little Mermaid" a few times, she was good to go- praise GOD.

Caroline got sick after that and than Lydia, too. Now it seems like we are reaching the end of sicklesville and so we made some rice crispy treats after picking up the kids to celebrate.

(well, don't you go through carpool in your wedding gown?)

It's amazing how quickly ALL the kiddos show up in the kitchen when I start opening up some marshmellows. It is so hard to sneak eat around here!! :)

Lydia loves the marshmellows that Tommy added to the top.

Tommy gave the Treats two thumbs up.

Than, today, Caroline came home from school with fresh lettuce from the Stonewall Gardens. (note Tommy's t-shirt) We were so excited that we made a big salad to go with the Red Curry Lentil Soup I made for dinner. Yum!! Until Gino discovered our little dinner guest at the end of his fork. It is not the greatest picture, but there is a little caterpillar at the edge of the tine saying, "don't eat me!". While a bit stomach turning, it was also gratifying to be reminded that no chemicals had been used in the growing of these leaves.

January 5

2010-01-05T04:41:00.000-08:00

If you go to google and type in "daily readings of the catholic church" you are going to get this great link that gives you the readings, and than leads you to a daily meditation that is a video.
The readings plus the reflection really spoke to my heart this morning. It's a funny time- I feel disconnect with my husband over several things, but we're working on it- because we DESIRE to be connected... and several times over the last TWO days, I have been touched by God. Through a dream, God spoke to me, very plainly it was HIM- after tossing and turning through many bad dreams and ugly thoughts about my relationship with Gino, I heard a voice say, "You are dwelling on separating with Gino- STOP. You need to dwell on reuniting with Gino." This stirred me immediatly out of my sleep and I woke up with these words echoing in my heart. God? Are you listening to my pain right now? YES. Not only listening, but reaching out to be with you in your pain and pull you through this pain. God desires me. He desires you. It's so simple and so unbelievable and yet it is the truth of the WORD. As it is written: from 1 John 4: 9-10

9 In this way the love of God was revealed to us: God sent his only Son into the world so that we might have life through him.
10
In this is love: not that we have loved God, but that he loved us and sent his Son as expiation for our sins.

GOD LOVED US and sent his SON as atonement for all our sins, so that we might be reunited, and connected with HIM.

Than Gino and I made it to a Beyond Cana meeting, where we were talking about this book, which I own, but have not read yet. Because I'm busy reading Heat Wave. Oh the shame of it all. Anyhow, we talked about the seasons of marriage. The Good Friday-dying-to-ourselves season, and the Holy Saturday-waiting-for-God season and lastly, the Easter Sunday-joyful-and-physically-spiritually-emotionally-united season. Our discussion took us from how to reach other couples who are stressed in their relationship, to how it is perfectly normal to feel each season wholly and cyclically, just like in the church. I walked away refreshed and recommitted to the knowledge that my husband and I are 100% committed to the covenant that we have with each other. This is one of those seasons where we just need to get through by talking more, listening even more and praying above all even more.

7 Quick Takes

2009-05-08T15:27:00.000-07:00

It's Friday and you know what that means...

~1~

DH started his new job this week and we feel very blessed that his new job allows for him to join us for dinner each night- something unheard of with his old job.

~2~

My Dad was flying through the area and had a two hour layover...just enough time to run to Burger King and grab some fries and a drink together.

~3~

Re-meeting my highschool girl friend after 16 years!! ~very strange~ but very fun,too!

~4~
I am trying to organize all my printed out recipes and so my dining room table is covered right now... it's always darkest before dawn, right?

~5~
One of the mom's at my dd's school is having her 3rd baby and so some other mom friends are throwing her a baby shower. I love that they are doing this for her, and I look forward to celebrating this little life. One mom was very put-out over the whole thing and complained to me about it. I wish I could think of a tactful way to tell her that this is a little PERSON we are celebrating- it doesn't matter if she were the first born or the eighth born! ... any ideas?

~6~
Went out this evening to meet with our small church community- three other couples who are the same age, with small kids and have a strong faith life, similar values, etc. We are watching the "Love and Respect" videos. Very informative, if not extremely repetitive. The very strong message of loving your wife/respecting your husband will eventually sink into our thick skulls.

~7~
Went to a Mother's Brunch at my 6yo daughter's school this morning. They served us oj and muffins. Than they serenaded us with such sweet cheesy mama songs that there was not a dry eye in the classroom. They also signed all their songs! I sat there watching my oldest baby, wondering who this girl was... she seemed so able and had such beautiful confidence. I am excited to get to know this little young lady as she blossoms to her fullest potential. This part of parenting is kinda fun, ya know?

small successes Thursday

2009-05-07T15:14:00.000-07:00

I am posting this on the right day!
Today, I was able to go to my weight lifting class. Yep, I'm pumping iron.
My home is clean! (thank you, honey!!)
Making it to the grocery store and planning for the week is always a big accomplishment around here... and today it happened.

"The Two Mommies"

7 Quick Takes

2009-05-04T11:34:00.000-07:00

The Monday edition...
1. I did pilates this morning!
2. I must fold lanundry today!!
3. Lydia was up most of the night with a dreadful cough
4. We investigated bigger homes this weekend.
5. I dread putting my home on the market.
6. Gino starts his new job today!
7. my goddaughter received her first holy communion saturday- what a joy!

7 Quick Takes

2009-04-24T12:08:00.000-07:00

Here are my Seven Quick Takes for Friday, (and the week for that matter!)

1. My son turned 5 this week

and we have been properly celebrating with STOMP ROCKETS.

2. This is a BIG one. After being out of work for a year. Twelve months. My husband has received not one, but two job offers this week. Praise GOD. Please keep us in your prayers, for wisdom to discern the right one for our family.

3. I exercised twice this week! I scheduled three times but my daughter had field day at school and really wanted me to show up for some of it.

4. my house is a mess and I'm okay with it~ not really... but i'm ignoring it for now seeing as i only get three maybe four hours of sleep at a time.

5. (I am going back and forth between typing one handed and not...) I am going through my daughters' clothes and storing them or giving them away... this is a long and cumbersome process... thank GOD for hand-me-downs. We just have such little storage that it is difficult to store all.

6. After I pick up my daughter from school, I am going to hang out with some dear friends for our "beer-thirty" play date. They have a great big fenced in back yard, lots of kids and space and some Mommy drinks, too. Bliss. PLUS...tonight, my husband and I get to go on a date while my kiddos go to Parents Night Out

7. Please keep my mother-in-law in your prayers as she is in and out of the hospital these days.

Well, I've got a great Friday still ahead of me!! Okay, I better try and make a dent in all of these girlie clothes while my two year old is sleeping or you can fuhgedaboutit!

Uncle Al

2009-03-24T11:44:00.000-07:00

My Uncle Al passed away very suddenly from a massive heart attack over our spring break. So, we left our original destination, San Antonio, and headed to Brady TX.

My family is pretty shocked by the loss of Uncle Al. He was a "gentle giant" and friend to all. Every year for Christmas he played Santa's elf and navigated us through the unopened packages. Having shaken, sniffed, and man-handled the gift as best he could, he would give us some heartfelt advice... "THIS is the ONE!"... you know, the one that everyone is going to want.

His sudden death is a close reminder of my own mortality and each individual that I am close to. Our time here is unknown, so let us make the most of it.

Silver Girl

2009-03-13T12:16:00.000-07:00

Sail on silvergirl,
Sail on by.
Your time has come to shine.
All your dreams are on their way.
See how they shine.
If you need a friend
I'm sailing right behind.
Like a bridge over troubled water
I will ease your mind.
Like a bridge over troubled water
I will ease your mind.

This is what happens when my 2 yo finds a bottle of glitter while I am nursing in the other room.

What’s for dinner, honey?

2009-03-13T12:13:00.000-07:00

Tonight, I am going to try this recipe from Faith and Family for Baked Oatmeal.

My husband is working a Parent’s Night Out co-op, so it’s just me and the kids.

We love oatmeal, and this seems like a good Lenten meal to make, since my health, yucky rainy weather, and, oh yeah, a dead car battery prevent me from going to the store!

Oh well, one more step towards being more frugal with my money by cooking with what I have in the house and not running out to the grocery store as often as I used to!!

Small successes Thursday

2009-03-12T07:18:00.000-07:00

I completed a grocery list plus got my coupons together!

I finally got the 6 loads of clean clothes all folded and put away.

My babies stayed fed, clothed, loved and warm.

One of those days where I am feeling a little bit sick and a lotta bit tired. It helps to add up the little things to make me feel like I accomplished something today!!

On This Day

2009-03-11T06:34:00.000-07:00

Please say an extra prayer for all of those seeking employment- that the peace of Christ which surpasses all understanding will guard their hearts and the hearts of their families.

The Garden out Front

2009-03-10T19:40:00.000-07:00

It rained today, so I didn't have to put on the sprinklers yet! Yay! So, this is the "before" pictue. Hopefully in about 50 days I'll have something more to show than just dirt!

Our sweet Henry frog. When we lost Fefe's twin, we wanted to have little rememberances of him throughout our home that would make us smile and this is one of them.

And this is Lil'Bird. If you ever wanted to hold a little bit of heaven, hold a sleeping baby. (of course, my husband says, that our baby feels like she is holding a bit of heaven when she is sleeping in our arms...)

Gardening in a Recession

2009-03-10T06:38:00.000-07:00

Well my front yard garden bed looks absolutely barren. Usually at this time of year I am able to go buy a flat of beautiful begonias or some other brightly colored flower. Instead, this year I bought seeds of Zinnias, Purple Coneflower and Allysum. My 2 year old, Sophia and I planted them yesterday. I prepared the ground, dug holes and she scattered the seeds. Than she proceeded to mix and scatter the dirt. I have no idea if the seeds are still there or if she tossed them away. I guess I'll find out in about a week or two when they begin to emerge!! I will post pictures later!

hello world!

2009-03-09T14:12:00.000-07:00

Coming out of hiding to share some pictures and happenings in our family. Lydia Therese was born on November 22, 2008. She is an absolute joy and delight and the whole family is in love with her. We pretty much kiss on her all day long...and when we're not, she's like, "Hello? Look at me! I'm cute and smiley and so you should hold me!"

And so we do...because we can't resist her siren songs... that's our Lydia!

Seattle

2008-09-09T20:13:00.000-07:00

We spent Labor Day Week in Seattle with my side of the family to celebrate my little brother, JP's marriage to Meg.

Here are my sisters with their husbands and children, plus my hubbie and kiddos.

Lora and I are expecting November babies. (We both had October 2006 babies)
The three of us were all on the same floor of our hotel room and it was like a pajama party each night, catching up with mi hermanas.

A few more pictures with my sisters, Gina and Lora and all our kiddos around Seattle.

between me and my son...

2008-09-09T20:11:00.000-07:00

Son: Why are you making soup, Mom? Is it 'cause I'm sick?
Me: You're not sick.
Son: I AM, Mom! Mocos are zooming out of my nose all the time!

it's July!!

2008-07-16T14:00:00.000-07:00

Where is time going? At once I feel as if the summer is whizzing by and trucking sooo slowly when I think of all the activity that I still need to come up with to keep these kiddos out of trouble. How do homeschooling mums do it???
Anyhow, a quick glance at what we've been up to, as well as a new blog I found.

Our Fourth

2008-07-16T12:09:00.000-07:00

Yes, so I'm late to post, but still...

We went down to the Fair Park Fourth with my niece and her husband.

The kiddos played with balloons while we picnicked.

These were the best fireworks I had seen in a long time!

while mama sleeps...

2008-07-16T12:03:00.000-07:00

kiddo was up late into the night. so this afternoon, while I was grabbing a quick nap, she set herself up on the kitchen floor to write me a note...

spikey found a bin of dried rice that the children love to play in. they haven't gotten into this in months. It is super easy to sweep away and clean, but rice still gets everywhere...

And Fefe read to herself, sang to herself and here, she is dancing to the music only she can hear....

Baby in the Womb

2008-06-22T20:29:00.000-07:00

This is the most amazing video of a baby crying in the womb.

two hour dinners

2008-06-22T20:11:00.000-07:00

Saturday night my brother-in-law and his wife offered to watch our 3 kiddos. It was very much out of the blue and DH and I jumped on it. So it was arranged, we left their home at 7 o'clock that night feeling light and free.

We went to a Moroccan restaurant in their neighborhood that was very quaint and slow paced and delicious. It was such a treat to have an uninterrupted conversation with each other, and to eat our food at the proper temperatures. They served us Moroccan Mint Tea all night and it was so tasty. The dessert was simple slices of oranges with rose water, cinnamon and poppy seeds with a little whipped cream on the side. So yummy! The tables were all private, with curtains on all corners, so you didn't see any other patrons. We thoroughly enjoyed our four course meal, splitting each course, and feeling perfectly satisfied when we left. A two hour dinner that was filled with conversation and laughter.

Unfortunately, the Tea was black tea and therefore contained caffeine and I was up all night. I watched many reruns of "Mad About You" and caught up on some "MASH". I finally crawled into bed at 5 a.m., ready to sleep. My whole Sunday was zombie like.

Now let me tell you about the two hour dinner that took place tonight. We were gathering at a good Italian restaurant with DH's family to celebrate one of his brothers, who turned 50. There were only about 25 of us and it was a mix of small children and old folks. After an hour, we were served food. Meanwhile, Fefe would not leave my lap and had several near misses of spilling ice cold water all over me. Kiddo and Spikey were poking and punching at each other and repeating each other and really just aiming to drive me insane. Please remember, I've only had about 3 hours of sleep...It was so loud, we were shouting to talk to DH's poor parents who were sitting next to us, down on the end, surrounded by other children. It was nice to see Nick, (the birthday boy) and he was very gracious and thankful for everyone showing up, but at the end of the two hour ordeal, I needed a glass of wine and an aspirin. Too bad I could have neither.

And that is two very different dinners with my DH this weekend.

it is so quiet, I hardly know what to do first...

2008-06-14T12:21:00.000-07:00

My husband has taken out three little ones to the Nasher Museum. This weekend is a big City Arts free weekend at the Nasher and the DMA, and so, off they went. Now, ordinarily I love this type of experience, but for now, I am quite content, sitting here at the computer all by my lonesome.

I was going to run to the grocery store...I haven't been in weeks, only getting by with the quick errands that my DH makes for us. Well, quite frankly, it's just not the same. He doesn't buy the same brands I like, and forget about fresh fruit and vegetables! Buying produce is an art to me. I'm an organic princess, as DH would call me, and when I see something in season, I'm inspired to make a certain type of salad or main dish or whatever. I leave room for this in my grocery list making. It is one of the very few things that make grocery shopping enjoyable.

Anyhow, I left my wallet in the mini-van. So... no grocery shopping.

Instead, I'll do a little picking up, maybe sweep and vacuum. It is always a little more productive to do these things sans kids, as they protest when I throw out scrap paper or take down the fort that has been in our living room for the week. FeFe likes to chase the broom, looking for any lost cheerios or goldfish. Grossness, I know, but hey, that is why I am going to do this now.

I actually LOVE the fort in the LR, because it has become Kiddo's and Spikey's little reading cove during our quiet times. The only problem is, they used all our kitchen and dining room chairs. I am on a mission to find boxes. Big, sturdy boxes that they can nestle in and read all they like in a tiny space that is all their own. Never mind their rooms, this is different. It's like being held in a light embrace where no little sibling is going to bother you.

Than, after I do some work, I'll finish this bean soup I started, hey, it's what was in the pantry! Finally, I'll stretch out on the couch and continue reading Pride and Prejudice by Jane Austen. Can you believe I've never read this book?? I took an online quiz recently and Elizabeth Bennet is the heroine I most resembled. That piqued my curiosity. (And what is the difference in spelling between heroin and heroine?~ sheesh!) Does anyone have a favorite version of this movie? There are so many out there, I thought I would get your opinion?

Now, see what happens with all this quiet?? Even YOU can hear me think!! Happy Saturday y'all.

make a wish!

2008-06-13T08:09:00.000-07:00

This is our family celebrating my mom's 59th! Isn't she beautiful?

"Next year", she informed me, "your Dad and I are celebrating our 60/40th"

What?

Turning 60 years old, married for 40 years. Praise God. This will be a momentous occasion.

catch up

2008-06-12T13:57:00.000-07:00

Let me see if I can catch you up on the rest of our happenings....

Tommy had a birthday. He is now the big 4.

We all went to Padre Island for Memorial Weekend. Sun, sand and boogey boarding made this trip totally memorable.

I try and catch as many quiet times as possible, ignoring the laundry and dishes and toys that seem to grow every day. Oh well... it will keep for tomorrow!

now what?

2008-06-12T13:37:00.000-07:00

I cannot believe it has been since APRIL 1 that I last posted!!

Well, if there is anyone still out there checking in on me, I have some fun news just for you!

A new bambino is to be born in late November!! Our family is very excited by this news. The children talk of the new baby as if he/she is physically able to see all that is going on. It is so sweet and affirming to watch their love for this new one grow, even in the womb.

At 17 weeks, I can finally feel at peace that this baby is going to be okay. We had a check up just yesterday and the baby's heart beat was strong and fast. This has been a very different pregnancy from any of the others and especially my most recent. Sophia was a twin and we lost baby Henry between 14-16 weeks. My weight gain with the twins was fast and my pregnancy symptoms were strong. This time around, my gain has been slow (so far...) and the symptoms not to bad other than tiredness. So, naturally, I was nervous.

Peace and excitement are finally settling in to my heart over this new one.
Please keep me in your prayers for a healthy pregnancy and healthy baby.
Thanks!

reflecting on the weekend

2008-04-01T13:26:00.000-07:00

This past weekend was so much fun. Even if it was the last push for Hubbie at work. (which means, I did not see him at all)

Friday night, my friend, Mo called and invited me AND the kiddos to go with her to the Tipperary Inn. The neighborhood pub hosts live Irish music each Friday night, and my kids love Irish music. The night was complete with fish & chips and an ice cold beer. Fefe charmed all the patrons sitting near us as she danced and be-bopped her way on the floor. Flirting shamelessly with the two guys sitting at the table in front of us...I thought she was my quiet, reserved type!! So much for that!

Saturday, I had a prayer meeting in the morning, where, again, my children were welcomed so that I could attend. This is made up of mostly mommies and we get together to pray and support each other in our role as little soul-formers.

Than in the afternoon, I had a Christ Renews His Parish Team 3 reunion. Again, the kiddos were welcomed and I was so relieved. They ran around the house looking for the two cats and finally settled down to color everyone some bookmarks. Meanwhile, in the other room, ten of us were gathered to catch up with each others' lives. This is made up of such a wide range of women, from single and young to married and been there, done that. I love it. Such wisdom and acceptance from such loving women. So, with all that prayer and love, it was definitely a good day.

AND, Hubbie got in all of his hours. In fact, he was over by .5!! I am so proud of him and of US for getting through this difficult time of working non-stop while completely supporting each other and not getting hung up on little road blocks.

Unfortunately, he just found out he will be traveling a bit this week, so the fun just doesn't stop!! Oh well.

This weekend really allowed for me to reflect on the messages of Easter. How we each have our own Passion to walk through, right along with Jesus while being completely loved and supported by Mary. We each have our own cross to bare, our own falls to get up from. The echo of Fr. John's homily still rings in my head, "we are a people of service" and if we shy away from this, than what is the point? And if we can't do it in LOVE, what is the point? So, my prayer for you and for me, is that we will not shy away from serving each other, but that we will be quick to respond to one another's needs and that we will do so out of love.

night time dance

2008-03-27T18:07:00.000-07:00

The sunset was amazing tonight.

I put the children to bed, than went outside and put away a few things and watered my overgrown seedlings. Kiddo came to the window and was jumping up and down pointing to the sky, than Spikey, too. So I went to them and they were like, "MOM! Look at all the colors! pink! orange! blue! purple! red!"

So I let them come out and we went to the front yard for a fuller look at the night sky.

Breathtaking. Seriously brought tears to my eyes.

And Spikey says, "This is what Jesus wanted us to see! He made this for us!!" As they are jumping up and down and doing a dance in the driveway. They just can't contain themselves!

Wow. Aren't they great? Ok, well remind me because now they are dancing around up and down the hallway too hyper to settle down for sleep.

hangin' with a Mama on a Friday night

2008-03-21T20:45:00.000-07:00

I hope you all had a nice, reflective Good Friday. I was kinda at my wits end. It's been a loooooong few weeks my friends, with kiddos round the clock and no hubbie time.
So... I thought I would share with you some Mama on the verge moments.

We are pretending to be mermaids and sharks. Yep. Old fashioned play.

It's good to be needed

2008-03-19T18:59:00.000-07:00

my garden

2008-03-17T13:21:00.000-07:00

This is my attempt at growing vegetables. The kids and I were motivated by this book. I love reading it to them and we decided to try planting seeds.

So, we have corn, zucchini, and sugar snap peas growing. Strawberries and lots of lettuce round out the garden.

So, right now we are in containers because my plot has not been tilled up yet. But, it will happen... patience.

Irish Eyes in a Panamanian dress

2008-03-17T13:12:00.000-07:00

I found this dress at a consignment shop for kids in SA... three years ago. It is special to me, because it has the Panama Mola Indian Art on the top. I lived in Panama when I was about 6 mos old until 3 years old. My little sister, Lora was born in the Panama Canal Zone. In fact, she has that in common with Sen. John McCain.

I figured out that my children are about 1/4 Irish. Unless the stories that my paternal great grandmother, Mama Ann, tells are true in which they would be 2/3 Irish. Unless the stories that my maternal grandfather, Papo, tells are true, than they would be about 80% Irish.

We all want a piece of the Irish action.

samurai warriors

2008-03-17T13:08:00.000-07:00

These are my mighty warriors. One of the exhibits at the SA Children's Museum was Japanese Culture. Naturally, we made samurai hats. Here they are with their game faces on.

will you take a kid?

2008-03-12T08:14:00.000-07:00

So here we are in SA, spending time with my Dad. Mom is still teaching, her spring break isn't until next week.

Yesterday I thought I'd give "Gramps" a break and take the kiddos to the San Antonio Childrens Museum. It was okay... I guess I'd rate it a B-.

They had a bluebonnet exhibit that consisited of construction paper and crayons. There was a finished picture of a bluebonnet to show the children what it should look like. That was it! I was looking for the real-life example of the flower, maybe some seeds to plant and some information about this beautiful state flower of ours. No. None of that. I mean, come on, we payed $7 per person. The could have afforded a real plant for crying out loud.

Okay, that is me, the horticulturalist venting. Let. It. Go.

So when we left the parking garage I learned that they do not take credit cards. (the parking garage, that is) I am so spoiled in Dallas~ it seems everyone is willing to take your credit card. The man was older and very nice, but no, no credit card. See, I rarely carry cash. It just doesn't happen. I spend it too quickly. And than I have no trace as to how I spent it! (which, has it's place)

So, he couldn't let me out of the garage, but I could back up, park the car, and walk around the corner to the next building where there was an ATM.

"PLease, Mister!! I have 3 children in the back, two of them are already asleep!! Is there anyway I can mail in the necessary $8 parking fee??"

He finally took pity, paid for my exit, and said I could do the drive in ATM and circle around and pay him back. He made it clear that he was putting his job on the line for me. (I was batting my eyelashes and putting my pouting lips to work)
But, before he let me go... would I please leave something behind to insure him that I would come back to pay?

"Will you take a kid?"

caucus queen

2008-03-05T12:58:00.000-08:00

Last night was standing room only for my precinct. Over 100 people there, many first-timers, like myself, looking around thinking, "I get to vote twice? really?"

It was split about even, Obama-mites and Clinton voters. Awfully out of my skin to be in line for Clinton. But there I was, thinking in my head, "just think of the glass ceiling! A more qualified candidate who is a woman!"

Than I headed over to Ladies Night Out, where some girlfriends gathered together to shower my prego friend with diapers and baby advice.

Just call me the caucus queen.

I VOTED.

2008-03-04T08:25:00.000-08:00

But it's not over, I am actually going to caucus for ol' Hil tonight. My Grandpa (die hard Texas Dem) would be so proud. Desperate times call for desperate measures. McCain stands a much stronger chance against Hillary. I was wearing my elephant broach on my coat when I voted and couldn't understand why the funny looks... until I was loading kiddos in the van and caught my reflection. Yep, there it was... a big elephant. Hey, they're my favorite animals, what can I say?

Go Vote, Texans!!

Thanks, Julie, for the yard sign.

self-portrait

2008-03-02T13:31:00.000-08:00

I did this at the Dallas Museum of Art.

Just a Sunday

2008-03-02T13:21:00.000-08:00

I'm tired and I miss my Hubbie. (but I know he feels the same way!~ and somehow that helps me muddle through our day) I think I'll make a cup of chai tea. That always seems to help pick me up. The kids are in their rooms~ supposed to be playing quietly but Fefe is crying so I'll need to check that out.

We've been outside most of the afternoon. I've been trying to sweep up leaves and cut back plants while making sure no one runs out into the street. Kiddo and Spikey ride up and down the drive way.

I've been playing classical music on my Ipod so that is relaxing. The kids love to hear the William Tell overture. They gallup around pretending to be hunters chasing a fox. Such brainy kids~ if I do say so myself!

I need to figure out how to get the music off our separate hard drive and back onto our current Itunes. With the new computer I have not been able to re-load all my Podcasts and music. This is a bummer because I love to listen to my shows while cooking and doing dishes...
I've no idea how to do this...
Gotta check on Fefe...

LATER IN THE DAY-
I took all of Spikey's clothes away. He said it was too much to put away

(they were ALL out of the drawers. AGAIN.).

So, I said, "than you have too many clothes. Mom will only give you the clothes that you need for the day."

This is going to be a pain in the butt. However, he changes clothes at least 6 times a day. Than throws them in the laundry hamper. So, he has lost the privilege of picking out his stuff for the week.

...Ay-yi-yi... now, where to put all his clothes...

Maybe in a suitcase??? I don't know... such a pain...
Am I just punishing myself???!!!

Okay, the kids are name-calling...
5.5 more hours to go...until my meeting tonight.

only once every four years, right?

2008-02-29T20:23:00.000-08:00

I just wanted to send you a little taste of our day. We got into the spirit of gardening, planted all our seeds in trays. I have a new spot designated for our future vegetable garden... :)
Anyhow, the kiddos were playing great together in the backyard, on the swings, and Fefe was staying with the older two. So, I went to the front yard to prune and deadhead some plants. I heard the kids take turns going inside to put on their swimsuits to pretend to swim... and about 5-10 minutes later... this is what I found.

I told them I was taking picture to incriminate them. That I needed their Daddy to see what mischief they were getting into. I don't think they believed me. I made a conscious decision to not punish them because I was mostly to blame... I was in the front. So, they had a very very long bath, including changing the bath water to get cleaner water in it!! Then pj's and we gathered all the pillows and blankets and watched "Mary Poppins".

whooped

2008-02-26T21:16:00.000-08:00

Hubbie just got home from work. I have had a long day discerning various levels of wants, needs, demands, cries, whines, pouts, and yes, a few laughs here and there.

I am working on a post about my experience with prayer that was mentioned briefly here.

It has been a lesson of trial and error for me, and will continue to be but I'll get to that soon.

Pray for this mama, please, that I can navigate through the end of March with Hubbie's insane work hours. I often feel like a single mom who has a bed warmer!! ;)
Yes, we're talking 14 hour Hard Day's Night, 8 days a week.

Yes, I'm a Beatles fan.

old fashioned play builds serious skills

2008-02-21T12:00:00.000-08:00

My Hubbie listened to this short story on NPR this morning and immediately brought it to my attention.

It seems that the era of playing with nothing, (also called, imaginative play) has ended. It ended with the dawn of the Mickey Mouse Club and advertisement for toys on a regular basis, not just once a year (Christmas.)

Almost overnight, children's play became focused, as never before, on things — the toys themselves.

"It's interesting to me that when we talk about play today, the first thing that comes to mind are toys," says Chudacoff. "Whereas when I would think of play in the 19th century, I would think of activity rather than an object."

Howard Chudacoff is a cultural historian at Brown University. I quite agree with him and when I think about my play time as a kid, I remember 3 toys: legos, blocks and baby dolls. The legos seamlessly transformed from food to a phone to medical equipment as my little sister and I played house, grocery store, doctor, library and school, to name a few. The blocks were telephones, stamps, dishes, etc. We didn't have the play food, play kitchen or play house. It was called a bedroom or a swing set. But in our minds' eye, it was a small house with 9 children sharing one bedroom. Or a schoolroom made up of monkeys, teddy bears, elephants and cabbage patch kids, all getting an equal chance to learn how to read.

Nowadays we fill our children's bedrooms with too many toys that limit their imagination and stifle their creative free play. I am at fault. I point my finger to myself as much as to anyone else who is still reading this post.

When we were trying to sell our home, we decluttered all the kids' toys. We stored everything except blocks, books, cars and barbies. They did not miss any thing else. They didn't ask where the fisher price little people and all their farms, castles, houses, zoos and trains went off to. They reinvented the blocks each time they sat down with them.

We know that children's capacity for self-regulation has diminished. A recent study replicated a study of self-regulation first done in the late 1940s, in which psychological researchers asked kids ages 3, 5 and 7 to do a number of exercises. One of those exercises included standing perfectly still without moving. The 3-year-olds couldn't stand still at all, the 5-year-olds could do it for about three minutes, and the 7-year-olds could stand pretty much as long as the researchers asked. In 2001, researchers repeated this experiment. But, psychologist Elena Bodrova at the National Institute for Early Education Research says, the results were very different.

"Today's 5-year-olds were acting at the level of 3-year-olds 60 years ago, and today's 7-year-olds were barely approaching the level of a 5-year-old 60 years ago," Bodrova explains. "So the results were very sad."

This study just serves to remind me that it makes little sense to rush off and enroll my 3 year old or my 5 year old in soccer or ballet. They will be fine if we wait another two years. They are gaining something much more important right now, the ability to self-regulate...and hey, it's a lifetime skill that I am still honing!

whew!

2008-02-19T11:30:00.000-08:00

Well, the Beyond Cana retreat was a very fulfilling weekend, with 8 amazing couples. The team did a fantastic job, and I just think we had a positive experience on a whole during this go-round.

My Spikey and Fefe had surgery yesterday and that went well. Fefe had tubes though you would never know, she is acting like nothing happened. Spikey had his second set of tubes, plus adenoids out. He is a bit cranky these past two days, thankfully everyone is actually napping right now!

My valentines gift was a new computer which we finally unpacked and put together last night. YEAH!!! It is beautiful and slick and fast!! I feel so very modern now. ooh lala!

My Mom came up on Sunday and left today. She helped with the kids during the surgeries- basically took Kiddo off our hands for the whole day. They went shopping and to the movies and had such a good time that Kiddo threw a fit this morning she was so upset to see her Noni leave.

All is settling back into somewhat normal mode around these parts, except Hubbie will continue to work insanely long hours for the next two months, as the end of the fiscal year runs through the end of March. So... I may have to get online to rant and rave every once in a while. Just remind me that this will past.

With that in mind, I am going to go to my room and REST. Did you hear me?? I said, "rest!" I know, I know, it's an anomaly but I'm gonna try my darndest so as to keep my head on straight this afternoon when I am missing my Hubbie as the kiddos test me, try me and push me.

my funny valentine

2008-02-13T21:11:00.000-08:00

Tonight I am covered in glitter. Glitter is like sand. It gets everywhere. But what would a homemade valentine's card made by a 5 and 3 year old be without the sparkly dust???

Nevermind the kitchen table that has glue and construction paper and markers and LOTS of glitter covering the surface.

My son said it all when Hubbie asked him, "how do you show love to someone?"
He responded, "uh, you cook for them!"

water less

2008-02-13T21:01:00.000-08:00

Last night, while working on our talk for the Beyond Cana retreat, we heard water gushing. It was running down our hallway and into Spikey's room!! Hail Mary! Luckily, the beach towels and bucket were accessible. Our washing machine flooded- a hose came loose and five gallons of water later...
This is fixable though and we will not be deterred!

checking in

2008-02-12T19:10:00.000-08:00

Hi there! Just checking in very very briefly to ask for your prayers. Fefe no longer has an ear infection!! Yeah!!

Please pray...

We are all healthy right now, and I pray that this continues.

Hubbie and I are preparing for the Beyond Cana marraige retreat this weekend. Please pray for the couples putting on the retreat and those attending.
Please pray for our families and any other obstacle that may come our way! St. Michael, pray for us.

Our computer is broken. We are trying to quickly find an affordable computer! Meanwhile, I am on hubbie's laptop that he makes available in the evenings.

Speaking of hubbie... he is working crazy crazy hours. Which means I am too. Please pray that we can continue to support each other, be patient with each other and cut each other some slack- all as we prepare for this weekend!!
Have I mentioned how much I am looknig forward to this weekend?!
God bless you!!!

spikey on spiders

2008-02-07T11:49:00.000-08:00

So Spikey and I were playing with his farm animals near the bookshelf when along came a spider and sat down beside her (Fefe). Naturally, I stomped on the eight legged monster that was threatening to my children.

Spikey looks at me with great big eyes (and in my mind I'm thinking he's going to be filled with admiration for his Mama who has no fear for such nasty hairy arachnids that threaten the very existence of her children) and says, "MOM! Doncha know that little spider eats all the mosquitos so I don't get bitten!!!???" And than he looked down in horror at the squashed messy remains of a little spider.

I truly felt bad.
So much for chivalry.

I promised a viewing of Charlotte's Web later on today. Truly, the best spider to live, ever.

it bothers me...

2008-02-07T11:46:00.000-08:00

that my children know who the Jonas brothers are.
I've never seen these guys before in my life.

keeping afloat...barely

2008-02-05T19:28:00.000-08:00

please pray for us! Fefe has an ear infection (or two) and is inconsolable these last two days and nights. I am hitting my wall... of course, hubbie is working lots and lots of hours, too, so we're just running on empty with very little sleep. I guess it didn't help that Kiddo and Spikey were home these last two days because their preschool had parent/teacher conferences!
thanks for your prayers!

odd odds sometimes bite

2008-02-02T10:30:00.000-08:00

Hubbie took the older two kiddos to the museum this morning-

it's free, first Saturday of the month and they have some crafts set up especially for children.

Anyway, I stayed home with baby. I picked up a few things and than felt like it was just too gorgeous outside to stay in and clean. So I threw the babe in the stroller and went a walking.

Nice, it was a perfect crisp sunny blue day with 55 and climbing to 69. I LOVE this weather.

Fefe just babbled away, singing all kinds of songs to me...I opted not to take my Ipod, counting on some hit songs from this 15 mos old, instead. We stopped at the neighborhood playground, where I knew she would love to ride on the swings for a while.

She had a huge grin on her face and laughed as I pushed her on the swings. Next to us was a baby boy about the same size who was so sweet and happy- I could hear him laughing as we approached the park. Anyway, I got to talking to his mom and we figured the babies were about the same age.

"Her birthday is Oct 4, when is his?"
"Henry's is Oct 4, also!"
... Henry? Oct 4 too? my heart skipped a beat. That is the name of Fefe's twin.

I smiled and said something... I forget, but I was pretty lost after that. I just kept pushing Fefe, back and forth, back and forth.

And praying... Lord, guard my heart, Lord, guard my heart.
Thank you Jesus for my sweet children.

And why does grief find a way to bite you in the butt on such a perfect day?

this is my day

2008-01-31T15:05:00.000-08:00

7:00 a.m. we woke up to Fefe crying. She was soaked to the bone...in urine. She had two bottles last night, and let's just say we got our money's worth from that diaper. So, I stuck her in the tub.

Spikey saunters in and says, "whys Fefe in da tub?"
me: "cause she's stinky."
him:"oh, I'm stinky, too." and he proceeds to strip and get in the bath.

okay, this is no biggie, they'll play a few more minutes and than I'll yank them out and get them dressed for the morning. But I didn't expect Kiddo to barge in...

5yo Kiddo: "What's going on in here?!"
clearly this is one party she did not get the invite to.
me: "your brother and sister were stinky."
her: "me, too!"
And than there were three...
I groaned, craved for my coffee, than sat back and watched them play.

pictures

2008-01-29T21:09:00.000-08:00

I posted earlier about having the children's pictures done... here is a sneak peak. I get to see the rest tomorrow and I can't wait!

chicken soup, again?

2008-01-25T09:00:00.000-08:00

I am cold.

When I get cold, I crave soup.

Lately, with all the ear infections, and virus/colds that my children have been sharing with each other, I have been making lots of soup.

Chicken soup. I have tried a few different versions of chicken soup, discovering what tastes the yummiest. I prefer using the whole bird...the meat is much more tender. I like the carrots and celery chopped slightly big and I love adding noodles. So, that is what we have eaten all week. Do you think it really has a healing effect on colds?

No matter, it feels good ..AAACHOO!!....
don't mind me.
What is your favorite soup recipe... you know, the kind that you crave on a wet and cold day?

Hours to Pray through

2008-01-23T18:30:00.000-08:00

I have been lurking about on Jen's website at et tu? getting great inspiration to pray the liturgy of the hours. So, you know what? I gave it a try. I LOVE IT!!! I can't believe I had never prayed the Liturgy of the Hours before, being a cradle Catholic and all, and now I feel like I have missed out.

I pretty much use her rules, because they are very practical for a stay-at-home mom with little ones. So, a big, huge "thank you!" to Jen.

My anchors are now the prayers that are implanted throughout my day. I am no longer running in scattered circles, from cleaning up breakfast to starting laundry to dressing the kiddos to dressing myself and back to breakfast, and the reckless-mom-cycle continued all day long until I collapsed on the couch utterly disgusted with myself because nothing got done, and I was exhausted. Now, my days are broken into "before prayer" and "after prayer." I, too, light candles at the start of evening and stop my work (except nighttime routine) and the children love the lit candles. It brings a sort of calmness upon our home and a completion to the day.

THANK YOU, Jen.

The first crib at Greccio

2007-12-15T14:27:00.000-08:00

Fresco of the first crib by Giotto and assistants in Basilica of Saint Francis in Assisi

"I wish to do something that will recall to memory the little Child who was born in Bethlehem and set before our bodily eyes in some way the inconveniences of his infant needs, how he lay in a manger, how, with an ox and an ass standing by, he lay upon the hay where he had been placed." When the good and faithful man heard these things, he ran with haste and prepared in that place all the things the saint had told him.

But the day of joy drew near, the time of great rejoicing came. The brothers were called from their various places. Men and women of that neighbourhood prepared with glad hearts, according to their means, candles and torches to light up that night that has lighted up all days and years with its gleaming star. At length the saint of God came, and finding all things prepared, he saw it and was glad. The manger was prepared, the hay had been brought, the ox and ass were led in. There simplicity was honoured, poverty was exalted, humility was commended, and Greccio was made, as it were, a new Bethlehem. The night was lighted up like the day, and it delighted men and beasts. The people came and were filled with new joy over the new mystery. The woods rang with the voices of the crowd and the rocks made answer to their jubilation. The brothers sang, paying their debt of praise to the Lord, and the whole night resounded with their rejoicing. The saint of God stood before the manger, uttering sighs, overcome with love, and filled with a wonderful happiness.

(Thomas of Celano, THE FIRST LIFE OF ST FRANCIS, CH XXX, NOS. 84-85)

what makes you tick?

2007-12-14T12:03:00.000-08:00

I was asked this question yesterday, and slowly I'm unpacking it in my mind. What makes you react? What makes you think? What makes you laugh?

Reactions come quick and sharp when I'm hungry and tired. Or when I haven't had time to be still... pray and gather my thoughts all by myself. Being with my husband or a close friend and actually conversing with them-about things that matter, stuff of the heart and soul, is refreshing and replenishing to me.

My husband makes me laugh. He has a great, dry and witty humor, an uncanny ability to laugh at himself and the situation. My children make me laugh-often without meaning to, just by the circumstance that they wind up in such as when Fefe got stuck in the baby doll stroller, or when Spikey barrels down on the baby to kiss her toes...and the baby reacts with a giggle.

My family makes me think about how I grew up and what was important to me as a child. Looking up I see two examples -my childhood and family (then and now) and my husband's childhood and family (then and now). Both are so very different from each other. I struggle with ensuring my children a childhood filled with love, compassion, understanding and fun. I fear that they will look back and think of a mama who yelled, got frustrated and sometimes, cried. Although...maybe that is not such a bad thing. Maybe it is okay for them to see this part of me, too. After all, why should they be misguided to believe that it was all fun and games? This is the stuff of life. Frustrations, happiness and messes are all rolled up to evolve and shape itself within the very beings of us. Those imperfections are what we seek in one another, confirming that indeed, we are never alone.

play time

2007-12-13T11:08:00.000-08:00

This is how my kids play together. They are all over each other. Laughing, screaming, crying, kicking, pushing, tackeling, and cackeling all the way... UNTIL, "MAMA!!!" Someone has been pushed too hard, tossed too much or pinched too often. Taming them is out of the question because this behavior is in their very core; like asking them to stop picking their noses, or keep their hands of the baby. Impossible. Both, they find irresistable, like playing rough with each other. So, I try to just tune out a little, kind of like leaving one ear bud out, just enough to listen for it to go too far, which, it will.

december morn

2007-12-07T14:06:00.000-08:00

Today, I met a photographer out at the Arboretum to take pics of my three monkeys. It was such a weird morning, weather-wise. But the children were able to wear some great layers, and than we did a "dress-up" series with tu-tu's and cowboy hat/boots. Very fun to watch them interact with another grown-up, and ham it up for her. It has been over 2 years since I got their pictures done, and the last time was a family shot. I was four months pregnant with twins and those pictures were to capture a pivotal moment for our family. Little did we know how true that was to be. We lost baby Henry soon after and Sweet Sophia was born in October. I am still grieving our loss and it is a major milestone to even admit that to myself. This is one event that I will always question God in his infinite wisdom. Why?
I wonder if I'll always feel like I'm missing another.
This morning was almost therapeutic in watching my children and feeling the sadness and joyfulness and peacefulness. I am blessed, more than I deserve.

august heat

2007-08-14T14:27:00.000-07:00

So... it's hot here. triple digits hot. Fifi is cutting some teeth, her nose is running and she is eating my bracelet. I missed my run this morning. Red had to get into work early and so it was just not going to happen...although, if I had taken Fifi in her stroller, we could have worked it out... but than, what would be the point of running? (exercise? I don't think so! ALONE TIME)

well after Fifi unplugged the computer... nice, sparks included... we left for a playdate. Now I'm home and my kids are chasing each other, spitting at each other and telling me how mean the other one is. I am so so tired of this that I just ignore. Blah blah blah, I can't hear you!
When do they get enjoyable again???

off with the hair!!!

2007-07-18T20:30:00.000-07:00

I did it!!! I finally got the swing bob I've been wanting for a few years. I couldn't get it though, because I promised Lorraine that I would not do anything drastic while I was pregnant...

my summer in pictures so far...

2007-07-17T20:12:00.000-07:00

my summer in pictures so far...

2007-07-17T20:00:00.000-07:00

2007-06-25T07:26:00.000-07:00

Sorry it has been so long since I've blogged. If there is anyone who still checks in here... well, I've just been preoccupied with being a Mama and a Wife.
I do want to put up some pictures and share some stories of our summer thus far. So, I'll be working on that. Thanks for your patience.

Now you are 3!

2007-04-21T16:06:00.000-07:00

You smile and laugh from the start of the day through the end of the night. You love to cuddle with "Mama" still and when you get hurt, you insist I kiss it. After I kiss your hurt, you quickly declare that you are all better and off you go! You have always preferred my hair down. You sleep with a pink bear and a yellow race car. You have the kind of hair that women find irresistible and must run their fingers through it. You are sunny and funny. I'll never forget after a very long day of grouchy children and even grouchier mom, I was tucking you into bed, thinking to myself, "I have got to do better tomorrow." You put your arms around my neck and said, "I forgive you Mama". At the time I thought it was a funny thing to say, but later that evening, and to this day, I remember what a profound thing you said. You are a beautiful child of God. Slow to anger (unless someone has something that you really really really want) and quick to forgive. I love you Tommy Bear!

Happy Easter!

2007-04-08T10:53:00.000-07:00

We rose early this morning, to go to 7:30 a.m. mass. This served two purposes: 1. to fight the "masses" at church; 2. to catch our kiddos off-guard and early enough, that they have no energy to act up! :)
I think we were successful on both counts!! We arrived at 7:30 exactly and sat our whole family 3 rows from the front! The children were well-behaved!! And this allowed me and Gino to actually enjoy Easter mass. It was beautiful and joyful and trumpets and Easter lilies. Fr. Tom's sermon was very straight-forward, "Live your faith everyday." Kind of aiming for the Christmas/Easter crowd. But that is OK! Because, the Good Lord knows I need this gentle reminder, too!!!

The children and I have been working on cascarones, (confetti-filled eggs). After much prompting from my sister, we are finally adding this tradition to our Easter celebration. Although her eggs are much more vivid... that's what I get for using the dollar store kit!!!

Wishing you and your families and joyful Easter Season!!

For my nephew, JP

2007-04-08T10:29:00.000-07:00

This is such a quick, easy gotta-have chocolate pleaser. And besides, who doesn't keep Semisweet chocolate in the house?!

Molten Mocha Cakes from EVERYDAY FOOD,Jan/Feb 2007, pg.48

serves 2 * prep time: 10 minutes * total time: 35 minutes
If you want to double or triple this recipe, just add 3 minutes or so to baking time.

2 T. unsalted butter, plus more for ramekins
1/3 c. confectioners' sugar, plus more for ramekins and serving
2 oz. semisweet chocolate, broken into pieces
1 large egg
1 large egg yolk
1 tsp. espresso powder (I substituted with cinnamon)
pinch salt
3 T. all-purpose flour

1. Preheat oven to 400. Butter two 6 oz. ramekins, then dust with sugar. Place butter and chocolate in a microwave-safe bowl. Microwave on high in 20 second increments, stirring after each, until melted. Let cool slightly.

2. Meanwhile, in a small bowl, whisk together egg, egg yolk, sugar, espresso powder and salt. Add chocolate mixture; whisk to combine. Add flour, and whisk just until combined (do not overmix). Pour batter into prepared ramekins. (Recipe can be made ahead up to this point, see tip below.)

3. Bake until a toothpick inserted 1/2 inch from edge of ramekins comes out clean, and a toothpick inserted in center comes out wet, 10-12 minutes (do not overbake). Cool 10 minutes on a wire rack. Runa a knife around inside of ramekins to loosen. Invert cakes onto serving plates. Dust with sugar; serve immediately.

How to make ahead:
Cover ramekins with plastic wrap after step 2; refrigerate up to 1 day. Bake 14-16 minutes.

forever, for always and no matter what

2007-03-26T19:10:00.000-07:00

It's just been one of those days where I wonder what have I gotten myself into, as a Mom. The children have been fighting or getting into mischief from the very start of the day. The highlight came when I took them to the library and they were running around screaming and tackling each other while I stood in line to check-out with the baby in my sling. I wanted to cry. I wanted to scream. I wanted to disappear. I wanted to run out the door. I wanted to ... but I didn't. We somehow made it home. I fed them. I sent them to bed. Than I remembered how stinky (and consequently, uncomfortable) they were. So, I bathed them. Than I put them back to bed. And when I tucked each of them in, I thanked God for sending me these sanctifying little souls. And I sang to them.

I'll love you forever.
I'll like you for always.
As long as I'm living,
my baby you'll be.

They (4 and almost 3 years old) just melt with this song. They love it. It is of course, from the book, "I'll love you forever" that I can't read without crying. Tonight, I was so grateful for it, because it reminded me of all the other mom's out there, who have had rough days, and all the mom's out there who will always have it harder, and all the women out there, who would love to have a rough day like me.

I got this from Summa Mama's Homekeeping Meme

2007-02-27T14:34:00.000-08:00

Aprons- Y/N- depends on what I'm making... and if the kiddos are helping. When they help, everyone gets an apron. If it's a red sauce definitely. My favorite apron? My Pampered Bride apron that is signed by family and friends.

Baking-- yes, cookies or brownies. favorite? chocolate chip cookies!

Clothesline- Y/N-- Nope.

Donuts-- I have never made a donut in my life. I really try and just avoid them. (love/hate relationship)

One homemaking thing you do every day-- hmmm... cook? almost everyday.

Freezer-- Do you have a separate deep freeze? no, I would love a separate freezer... but we get by without one!

Garbage Disposal-- Y/N? Yes and I am thankful!

Handbook-- What is your favorite homemaking resource? my mom or my sisters - the internet is a fair back-up

Ironing--Love it or hate it? HATE IT, and I am terrible at it. Gino has those great Non-Iron shirts from BrooksBrothers.

Junk drawer--Y/N? Where is it? In my kitchen and the bathroom

Kitchen: Design and decorating? It's a 50's style kitchen with wood cabinets and yellow laminate countertops. All the appliances (including washer and dryer) are white. It's pretty big for the era it was built. We hope to move the w/d out next month!

Love: What is your favorite part of homemaking? Preparing a meal and eating together as a family.

Mop Y/N -- oh yes - wood floors everywhere... get mopped once a week

Nylons-- uh... no

Oven-- Do you use the window or open the door to check? both

Pizza-- What do you put on yours? I'm a supreme gal.

Quiet-- What do you do during the day when you get a quiet moment? read, get on the computer or call my sisters.

Recipe Card Box Y/N? yes

Style of house-- fifties style, hardwoods throughout, very simple- my favorite home

Tablecloths and napkins? Usually placemats. Most nights paper napkins, but sometimes cloth. - ditto

Under the kitchen sink-- organized or toxic wasteland? Organized. Some cleaning supplies and garbage bags is all...

Vacuum-- how many times per week? I have hardwood floors--no vacuuming. I swiffer all the time!

Wash-- How many loads of laundry do you do in a week? hmm... maybe 10?

X's-- Do you keep a daily list of things to do and cross them off?-- sometimes, if I have lots to do before my parents come visit, or we're having guests over.

Yard-- Who does what? The whole family. I love gardening, the kiddos love helping (?) and Gino is in charge of the grass!

Zzz's--I check doors, get a glass of water, check and kiss the kiddos and Gino, wash my face and teeth, than read.

Anyone else can play that wants!

Gone weedin'

2007-02-19T19:57:00.000-08:00

This morning was absolutely beautiful outside. Finally, a day to get out in the garden and dead-head and weed.

I haven't been out there since the spring. It was too hot and I was too pregnant over the summer- than the fall came and I had a new baby and little time or sleep. Winter is almost past, and so it was such a treat to let Spikey run around outside, while I cleaned out the gardens.

This is probably my favorite gardening chore. Dead-heading. Getting rid of all the dead leggy growth that zaps the plants of energy and is unfruitful. I have the best prayer time as I meditate about what God wants me to dead-head in my life. What is zapping me of energy and is not fruitful? Many things. TV. Computer. Any relationships? Yes, those too. In each of these areas of my life, I have the opportunity to rearrange how I spend my time. This is something I will continue to examine in my life as this week continues. The forecast is set to be in the 70s - and for that I am grateful. I have a lot of clearing out to do!!!! And how timely, as lent begins this week.

Happy Birthday, JP

2007-02-19T19:46:00.000-08:00

JP, you are the best baby brother a girl could ask for. I remember rocking you in the swings, singing to you when you were as small as Puddin is in this picture. I remember teaching you to dance with me when I came home from college, so I wouldn't forget the steps, and so you would know how to impress the girls. I remember dragging you off to whatever Youth Group event was going on, as a new Youth Minister, because than at least one person would be there. :)
I am so very proud of you - finishing up your last year at USaFA. How very exciting to know your next location, the next chapter, what great challenges lay ahead, and how sweet the journey has been. You have taught me about setting goals, and keeping them in sight so that you can than attain those very goals. Love you!!!! rita

On being Ruthian

2007-02-16T15:55:00.000-08:00

The kids and I picked up my MIL today to take her to lunch.

My MIL is in her seventies and has Parkinson's'. It is always a trip with her. She told me for the first time (again) that she has Parkinson's' and that she cannot eat any wheat or flour. (I've only been around for 9 years, but hey, everyone needs a little reminder now and then, right?)

Two and a half hours later, we emerged from the restaurant. I was exhausted. Than we drove her to her hair appointment where she was going to get her hair washed and curled. She told me all about the gal who does her hair. She's awful. She uses her FINGERS to separate the curls, instead of a comb or brush. I found my MIL's disdain for the woman really funny. I mean, LOL funny. Every time I mentioned the salon (my kids ask lots of questions)- she would say, "I'm going to get my hair washed and curled and than combed with FINGERS." * you have to say it with lots of emphasis and disdain in your voice. Anyhow, I'm sure this is only funny to me, so, I'm sorry.

My sweet MIL could not remember exactly where this salon is, so we drove around for a bit, real slow, and annoying all the other lovely shoppers who are just trying to go along their own way. (I wanted to tell them all, "I'm sorry, I cannot control the fact that I don't know where I'm going!- she's in charge here!!!")

Well anyhow, we made it, and it was lovely.

The funniest line of all was when I first picked her up and she said, " whew! I took EXTRA pain killers today so I wouldn't be hurting, and honey, I'm flying!"

Love is in the air...

2007-02-14T06:02:00.000-08:00

Happy Valentines Day!

I have a lunch date with Gino & Puddin' this afternoon. I have more to post, but the kids want breakfast, or something.

Okay, it's about 8 hours later but I'm back. The kiddos are having "quiet time" in their rooms and Puddin' is laying on the floor fighting a nap.

My Gino and I ate at this fabulous and romantic place called La Duni. They are a Latin American restaurant that smells like a yummy kitchen and looks like a boutique when you walk in. Huge cakes with lots of fluffy toasted icing and layered with large pinkish reddish roses make the divider between the bar area and the eating area.
(Oh! The nap finally won... Puddin' is out)
The food is delicious but we're really there for the desserts. Quatro Leches Cake. Indulgent. That is the only word I can think of that will do it justice. Anyhow we had a great talk... these days, it always goes back to, "how can we make things at home run smoother?"... It's a never-ending discussion. Which is easier, having him work late on the weeknights, meaning, he doesn't get home until 8 ish and but we get him for the whole weekend , OR, having him home around 6:30, we eat dinner together, but he has to work at least 5 hours on the weekend? Either way, I hit my wall by 4 each day and I'm pulling my hair out, trying not to scream at the kiddos as they continue to do whatever the hell they want. And by the weekend, I'm seriously thinking of calling a doctor, any doctor, and telling him he needs to numb me out because I need a break. A mental, physical, emotional and spiritual BREAK.

So, where does this leave me spiritually? With little time to even desire prayer in my life. Heck, yelling and jumping and crying doesn't work. What makes me think prayer will help??!! hmf! Now I'm sounding like my four year old. Lorraine, my dear friend who I miss so much I will cry if I think about it, reminded me yesterday... "Rita, let's face it, you know I love you, but you're not the most patient person."

WHAT?! ME? Not patient?!

Okay... maybe not. This made my eyes water. Because it stung. It was true. I had not thought about it in a long time. But I was becoming less and less patient with the people I love. Gino, Kiddo, Spikey... everyone except Puddin. Now, I am on my knees praying for patience. I need it. I need a HEAVY dose of LOVE to go with this patience. So, for Valentines day, and perhaps as a prelude to LENT... I am seeking to love more and to be more patient.

LORD, have mercy!!!!!!

2007-02-13T19:44:00.000-08:00

Well here is my puddin'. She's 4 months old for this picture.
My little Love.

Three kiddos are kickin' my bootie. I feel like I'm running in circles all the time. From dressing them to feeding them to cleaning up after them, plus dishes, washing clothes, cooking meals, than feeding more kiddos, not to mention breast-feeding and diapering and burping and just cuddling whoever needs to be cuddled...
I'm losing my mind. Seriously, gone. Now, add in a sassy four year old with more stubbornness than even me, and we have got a mama on the verge of a nervous breakdown.
Gotta go nurse the puddin.

welcome to the world, baby girl!

2006-10-30T07:10:00.000-08:00

Sophia Marie Frances was born on October 4, 2006.
She was induced because my doctor was worried that she was no longer thriving in the womb. Gino and I said a prayer to St. Francis of Assisi, as it was his feast day, and asked for his prayers for a healthy baby, speedy and healthy labor and delivery. She was born less than 5 hours after being induced!! Amazing!! She is beautiful and kissable and sweet smelling. Most days you will find me nursing her, kissing on any one of the kids... (I'm very affectionate/emotional these days)... or sleeping. Not much gets done around here, but that's okay!

39 weeks

2006-10-02T16:02:00.000-07:00

Here I am! It is almost time... I have had contractions or, rather, good ol' false labor consistently for the last 2 days. Hopefully, it won't be long before we get to lay eyes on this sweet girl.

Thank you for all your prayers for a smooth labor and delivery and, most importantly, HEALTHY baby!!

God bless!

2006-09-13T18:56:00.000-07:00

Hi there! I just wanted to update you on my pregnancy and our baby...

I was able to get a Level 2 sonogram last week, and the perinatologist assured us that our baby is growing healthy, and that my placenta and amniotic fluid level are healthy as well. He couldn't stress enough that this was one healthy- and petite - baby!! Praise God!!!

Today, I saw my OB doctor and he noticed I had a huge growth spurt! From 30" two weeks ago to 36" (measuring the uterus)!!! AMAZING!!! Anyhow, between the baby changing position (head down) and all that good rest and relaxation (hah!) we are progressing along. I want to thank you for all your prayers and calls of support and love. You have fed us, prayed for us, played with our kiddos and even cleaned for us! I am very humbled by all this attention and show of love. Thank you is not enough- we hold you in our prayers.

My official due date is Oct. 7, so we have a little more than 3 weeks to go! (or maybe a little less??- only time will tell!)

Again, thank you for all your prayers and love.

blessings!

2006-08-30T16:01:00.000-07:00

Please pray for this little baby girl. I had my OB appt. today and doctor is concerned with her lack of weight gain. Basically, my placenta is not doing it's job. To say that I'm freaked out is an understatement. I'm on bedrest- doc's orders, and so hopefully my body can focus it's energy and blood on the baby.

My church's mother's group and the former retreat group are organizing some meals, and a schedule for the children for the next two weeks. That will be a huge help.

Mainly, what I need from you all are your prayers. Please storm heaven for our little daughter's healthy growth.

love,
rita/aka.veronica

my husband fulfilled my dreams tonight...

2006-08-21T22:57:00.000-07:00

You see, I've had this fantasy of owning a Honda Odyssey for about 3 years. It was red for awhile- than it was colorless- and all about the space. Room enough to transport a friend and her kid if I needed to. Our family car has been the VW Passat. With two big car seats in the back, you can't fit anything (or anyone) else back there. Now with baby on the way, my husband has come to terms with our needing a larger vehicle.

I have to brag on him. I'm so proud of how he patiently pounded the pavement all day Saturday, than drove home with a van for me to "check out" that night. I loved it. But it had too many miles on it and we wanted to get the most out of our "new to us" used minivan. So, back to the dealership it went. And so went Gino, back to the dealerships. Today, he found it. An '04 with 32k miles. He whittled that price down to exactly what we could afford!!!! Leather interior. DVD player. super condition!

I am a very happy minivan mom!

Now, about that. I have been a VWpassat driver for over 5 years. I always figured that when I wasn't toting kids along, I had a secret image. People could mistake me for some hot-to-trot woman who went to a sophisticated job everyday. They might even wonder if I was available- because of that yuppy look...

But. No. MORE. I am now the driver of a minivan. I must have at least 3 kids and be married. Now I will have to settle for the "just another mom" with a mission (feed the kids and get to wherever on time) image.

That's okay. I'm really REALLY okay with that. Remember, I fantasized about this moment.

hometown

2006-08-14T18:28:00.000-07:00

We live in Gino's hometown. Meaning, he's lived here since he was 5 years old. I am a military brat. Meaning, I never lived anywhere longer than 4 years. I've lived in Arizona, Panama, Texas (3 times, 3 different cities), California, Oklahoma, Ohio, Massachussetts... I think that's all of 'em. Going to college for my four year degree was the longest I stayed in one place- because it took 4.5 years.

So, what's my point? Well, it seems that most social things Gino and I do have to do with friends or colleagues of his. Now, granted, I'm a SAHM, so I don't have any colleagues that I see every day. Yes, there are plenty of SAHM that I am good friends with, and I would love to hang out with them more- but I'm afraid they're doing the same thing. Socializing with their spouse's peers.

I get the added bonus of socializing with one of Gino's friends that I see at a wedding shower... fast forward three years, and we get an invite to their two-year old's birthday party. I just have to ask- why oh why would you invite me and my family to your son's birthday party when I haven't seen you in three years- and before that, never??!! Or invited to a wedding of a friend that he knew in highschool, and hasn't seen since?? (15 years ago!)

I just don't get it.

So, I guess this comes down to this: this is my husband's hometown. He has childhood/elementary/highschool/college buddies that live around here. And they like to keep in touch. Which is sweet and all that....

Maybe I'm jealous. Maybe I yearn for that relationship with a deep or, at least long, past. Who knows. In the meanwhile, I'll try to get over myself and grin and bear it. Maybe someday we'll have lived here long enough (seven years so far) that I'll feel like it's my hometown. What makes your town feel like home to you?

Saturday

2006-08-12T21:03:00.000-07:00

Lately, I've been in a pregnancy funk. Can you get ppd before the baby arrives? It's because my due dates are nearing and I'm confronted with the fact that I won't deliver between Sept 12-25, like originally planned with the twins. Now my due date is Oct. 7. Brutal.

And I just miss having baby Henry inside me.

And I wish we had a name for this little girl still alive and kicking.

I took the kids to the sprinkler park this morning. Gino had to work, and we were all going stir-crazy. I decided to forgo the support hose for this little outing, and we all got on our swimsuits. Sprinkler parks are a marvelous thing. Lots of different spraying gizmos on a soft pavement spewing lots of water. Very fun. Anyhow, there was a mom with a double stroller...and as she got closer, I could see two very very new babies reclined in the stroller-one in pink, the other in blue. I'm glad I was wearing my sunglasses. I felt so sad and incomplete and truly lost. It surprises me sometimes, the grief that I feel towards the loss of my baby. And yet... I still have a healthy, vibrant baby, growing inside.

happy friday

2006-08-11T16:08:00.000-07:00

this morning I set a record in our family... out the door with both kiddos, dressed, eaten, and grocery list in hand!!! (trumpet sounds galore)
We were home by 10! Which is about the time I start thinking I need to get to the grocery store. It was a glorious feeling. And even better- the temp. was not yet 90!
So, I had a weird/sweet encounter with my bagger at the store. The Kroger's I like to shop at employs all kinds. There are a few, like my bagger today, who have downs syndrome. Ricky was very smiley as he carefully placed the food in the bags and loaded our cart back up. As we headed out to the parking lot, he just kept smiling and looking at my baby bump. He patted his stomach and said, "baby?" "yep," I said. Now, he is pushing a cart with all my groceries, and I am pushing the cart with my kiddos (the big SUV cart). We are walking side by side and he keeps walking towards me, while pushing the cart, and looking at my tummy, smiling. Than he reaches out- (oh no) he hesitates- comes closer- and pats my tummy. What can I do? I just smile, and say, "this baby's getting big!" I'm embarassed and caught off guard and touched by his genuine curiousity. Okay, so we get to my car, he is loading the food and I am loading the kids. I am in the middle of buckling my 3yo when he finishes, comes around the side of the car and says, "see you later". Than he pats my tummy again! This time he says, "beautiful"- in a kind of sigh. Very sweet. And this time, the annoyance I felt earlier, left me. Immediately I knew that he truly appreciated the preciousness of this life. I drove out of the parking lot reflecting on the beauty of him. And the beauty of this pregnancy.

relaxin

2006-07-10T08:43:00.000-07:00

Yesterday was my birthday and it was such a great day. The kids came in and woke me up singing the birthday song- very cute to hear a 2 & 3 yr old sing this as they grin broadly! Gino picked up some pan dulce from a bakery, and my fave coffee drink. Than we just hung out outside, the kids played in the sandbox in their pj's while we read the newspaper and caught up with my neice, Angela, who had just returned from Israel and had spent the night. In the afternoon we all went to see Cars. Everyone enjoyed the movie, than we caught the 5 o'clock mass. The kids were tired, and we held them throughout the mass, which was kind of nice, because I could actually listen and pay attention. For dinner, Gino made Lamb kabobs! yummo! He also had couscous and grilled tomatos! gourmet man! I was very impressed! It was all very delicious. All in all, a sweet and relaxing birthday.

relaxin

2006-07-10T08:36:00.000-07:00

Elephant birthday

2006-06-29T19:45:00.000-07:00

I LOVE elephants. When I saw this ticker, while making the pregnancy one...well, I couldn't help myself!!!

ham & jelly

2006-06-29T19:28:00.000-07:00

Hi! ... the kids just went down.

We played outside on the swings and got bit by 'squitos, so I sprayed them with OFF, than we went for a walk and they ran through some neighbors' sprinklers. Afterwards we came back inside and they requested ham and jelly sandwiches. (when asked, "peanut butter & jelly, or ham & cheese?) ~sigh~ so, we ate that while watching "Little House on the Prairie" (b/c the dining room table has all my sewing stuff out and I didn't feel like clearing it away).

Well naturally, the kiddos had to take a bath, to wash off all the OFF. The tub was filled and bubbles were poured. I was just getting comfortable, thinking, "I'll let them play a bit before I wash them", when Spikey observed Kiddo squirting a whale and squealing, "the whale is peeing!!!" Next thing I know, he is grabbing himself, and yes, peeing. (herein lies the dilema, do I just ignore - since it's all going to be diluted in that great big tub of water?) No!!! Of course not!!! So, I empty the tub and decide that they can shower. I turn the shower on, wash them up and get them out. Now Spikey is not happy about getting out. "NOOOOO!!!!!!" (adamently shaking his head) He runs into the hallway, pouting "hrmf!" than, yep, next thing I know, he is grabbing himself and peeing... AGAIN!!!!! ugh!!!!

Clean the hallway, wipe him down, get them dressed in pj's read many books, say our prayers and kisses goodnight!!! I would love to shower but I'm afraid to since they're not quite asleep yet. Guess I'll go back to measuring and pinning and sewing.

101

2006-06-29T14:37:00.000-07:00

101 days left to go... that seems like forever right now.
Granted, I'm not ready- but still...
I'm going to whine for a minute, stand by:
I'm just huge! I'm only going to get bigger and bigger & bigger until I'm ENORMOUS!! And than I'm going to grow even more!!!!!!!

Okay, I think I've worked myself up to have a little pan dulce (that's sweet bread, y'all, like a pumpkin-stuffed empanada) from San Antonio.

back from the beach!

2006-06-27T12:01:00.000-07:00

After a week of being a beach bum and poolside referee, I am back- with pictures!

Here I am (in the bikini- yep, my tummy's never been tighter~) with my sisters, Gina and Lora. Our favorite past time since we were learning to walk on the beach, is to sit in the sand and "glop" our legs and feet. It's all about the right consistency between sand and water that is glopped all over the legs and feet- resulting in very soft skin!!

And here is Lil' Lora putting her tummy out there with my baby brother, JP. Y'all will just have to believe me when I tell you, I'm bigger than she is.

Spikey is just not too sure about those loud waves. Even though the car is very hot, he is going to take his sweet time getting out.

Kiddo, on the other hand, just took to the water like a fish! or... mermaid.

Lots of family bonding, 14 of us in a little 1000 sq ft. condo. Cousins staying up late and waking up early 'cause they don't want to miss a thing. Lots of food and games- Mexican train, dominoes, of course. No sunburns! Just a few more freckles...

On sisters and bellies

2006-06-13T08:01:00.000-07:00

Yesterday I spoke with my sister, Gina who recently went on a Womens' ACTS retreat in SA,TX. She sounded amazing. It was like a fire was lit in her heart, and a cup of warmth and heaps of love were added to her persona. She told me that it truly changed her life. She feels loved- by God. Truly loved exactly where she is spiritually, emotionally, physically. What a gift!

I pray that the spiritual high she is experiencing will carry her over into her new parish. She and her family are in the process of moving to FL right now. While this can be a particularly stressful time for most all of us, she is looking to new opportunities for her and her family. I'm so glad for her. (not to be Pollyannaish, sorry!)

I cannot wait to see her and my other lil' sister, Lora, who is flying in from Portland tomorrow. Lora is about 20 wks pregnant with her first bambino and it is so cute and exciting to see her grow and anticipate this little guy.

Whereas, being pregnant with my third, it is hard to be cute and excited about the growing belly. I catch myself resenting the hugeness that is taking over my body. Than I remember, this is LIFE! How can I feel any negativity towards the growth and movement of the little soul that rests in my womb?!

My friend, Jacquie, sent these beautiful words to me shortly after our miscarriage and I have written them in my heart.

Jozsef Cardinal Mindszenty (1892—1975):
“The most important person on earth is a mother. She cannot claim the honor
of having built Notre Dame Cathedral. She need not. She has built
something more magnificent than any cathedral—a dwelling for an immortal
soul….The angels have not been blessed with such a grace.”

Back in the Saddle again...

2006-06-11T19:39:00.000-07:00

Holding my reins once more... la la la... you know the rest...

After a brief and much needed hiatus from posting, but never from lurking, I am rejoining the world of bloggers. I miss the strange and oddly intimate companionship that one finds when one bears one's thoughts and feelings online. So, I'm going to just, in a wierd way, please-bare-with-me, catch up my blogger friends.

So. Hi! How are you? I haven't called, but I have thought about it so many times. I'm doing okay. I have my good days and bad days. After we lost one of our twins, I deleted the previous blog... not really wanting to associate myself with myself. Strange, I know. Anyhow, it's been a month and each day gets better. Except when I run into a friend who has not heard the news. Than it's really awful. Like a slap in the face.

"You don't look like you're carrying twins!!"

"I'm not- we lost one of our babies last month."

ackward pause...

if they're really smart, they'll stop right there with an,
"I'm so sorry, I did not know or I certainly would not have brought it up."

if they're really idiots they'll want to know all kinds of things about the loss, like what happens to the baby, or worse, how did the doctor tell us...

Now- I have some very close friends who absolutely asked me these things in the first few days. That is okay... I was still very much in a dense fog of grief and reliving those moments with our doctor constantly. But from someone that I haven't seen in 6 months?? In the middle of a party?

Anyhow, his name was Henry. I think we would have called him Hank. So, Hank is our special family saint in heaven. I ask him to pray for his twin sister every day- and the rest of us, too.

In re-reading my post, please know that I am ever-grateful for your prayers and I hope it's not weird or anything. I just needed to get that out there- because when last we talked... we were on the verge of twins.

So, now, I am 23 weeks along. Baby Girl is kicking and wriggling around. She is absolutely adored in utero by her big sister. Kiddo will come up to me with a cheese stick and say, "mama, my sister needs a snack, so eat this." or a glass of water saying, "mama, my little baby is thirsty, drink this." Today, she scolded me for lifting up her 2yo brother, Spikey. "Mama, you cannot lift him! That will hurt the baby!"

ay-yi-yi! so maternal at age 3.5!

So, right now... my house is a mess. It is driving me CRAZY. Dinner dishes on the table, food on the stove, toys scattered like a Spikey storm ran through them, and my husband... he's in his favorite chair watching his team, the Dallas Mavericks beat the Heat in the NBA finals. And me.. well, I'm spending some quality time online, of course!

Fe and Rika- y'all better get back in the groove and start posting your random thoughts.

I'm sure I probably lost the rest of my bloggin' buddies- but if you happen by- just give me a shout. It does so much for the ego.

Now, I'm going to try and make sense out of the mess around here, and than treat myself to some pistachio gelato that I bought for me alone and my Gino knows nothin' about it!! hee hee!! :)

Copy

2006-03-01T05:54:00.000-08:00

Here's a copy to use again later.