Faith and Failure

Last night, as I was leaving to go to a meeting after dinner but before the children's bedtime, Caroline runs to her backpack and says, "I have to finish all of these worksheets by tomorrow!" Now, she was holding a 60 page chapter book and about 12 pages of questions. "WHAT?!"- I screamed in my head - "Really?" I said outloud, "well, you've got 20 minutes until bedtime, I guess I know what you'll be doing. I'll set the timer." She got to work fast after some grumbling and me looking at her with that, "you got yourself into this" look. Than I left for meeting. She stayed up about 20 minutes past bedtime and than woke up on her own about 45 minutes earlier and worked away. Now it was time for school. She still had 2 chapters and 3 pages of questions to go. "But I'll get a number!" (this is a disciplinary mark) "Yes, you probably will- but I doubt you will let this happen again, huh?"
Oh it was so hard to let her fail. It is minor, I fully realize, but it would have been easy to let her stay up later, and to help her with the questions. But how would that have really helped her? Anyhow, I read the following post on Faith and Family and was reminded how quick we want to label ourselves by our accomplishments. That is not how our Heavenly Father sees us. To him, no matter what, we are His Beloved. And that makes a world of difference.


Faith & Family : Features : Fail Forward

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January 5

If you go to google and type in "daily readings of the catholic church" you are going to get this great link that gives you the readings, and than leads you to a daily meditation that is a video.
The readings plus the reflection really spoke to my heart this morning. It's a funny time- I feel disconnect with my husband over several things, but we're working on it- because we DESIRE to be connected... and several times over the last TWO days, I have been touched by God. Through a dream, God spoke to me, very plainly it was HIM- after tossing and turning through many bad dreams and ugly thoughts about my relationship with Gino, I heard a voice say, "You are dwelling on separating with Gino- STOP. You need to dwell on reuniting with Gino." This stirred me immediatly out of my sleep and I woke up with these words echoing in my heart. God? Are you listening to my pain right now? YES. Not only listening, but reaching out to be with you in your pain and pull you through this pain. God desires me. He desires you. It's so simple and so unbelievable and yet it is the truth of the WORD. As it is written: from 1 John 4: 9-10

9 In this way the love of God was revealed to us: God sent his only Son into the world so that we might have life through him.
10
In this is love: not that we have loved God, but that he loved us and sent his Son as expiation for our sins.

GOD LOVED US and sent his SON as atonement for all our sins, so that we might be reunited, and connected with HIM.

Than Gino and I made it to a Beyond Cana meeting, where we were talking about this book, which I own, but have not read yet. Because I'm busy reading Heat Wave. Oh the shame of it all. Anyhow, we talked about the seasons of marriage. The Good Friday-dying-to-ourselves season, and the Holy Saturday-waiting-for-God season and lastly, the Easter Sunday-joyful-and-physically-spiritually-emotionally-united season. Our discussion took us from how to reach other couples who are stressed in their relationship, to how it is perfectly normal to feel each season wholly and cyclically, just like in the church. I walked away refreshed and recommitted to the knowledge that my husband and I are 100% committed to the covenant that we have with each other. This is one of those seasons where we just need to get through by talking more, listening even more and praying above all even more.

The first crib at Greccio

Fresco of the first crib by Giotto and assistants in Basilica of Saint Francis in Assisi

"I wish to do something that will recall to memory the little Child who was born in Bethlehem and set before our bodily eyes in some way the inconveniences of his infant needs, how he lay in a manger, how, with an ox and an ass standing by, he lay upon the hay where he had been placed." When the good and faithful man heard these things, he ran with haste and prepared in that place all the things the saint had told him.

But the day of joy drew near, the time of great rejoicing came. The brothers were called from their various places. Men and women of that neighbourhood prepared with glad hearts, according to their means, candles and torches to light up that night that has lighted up all days and years with its gleaming star. At length the saint of God came, and finding all things prepared, he saw it and was glad. The manger was prepared, the hay had been brought, the ox and ass were led in. There simplicity was honoured, poverty was exalted, humility was commended, and Greccio was made, as it were, a new Bethlehem. The night was lighted up like the day, and it delighted men and beasts. The people came and were filled with new joy over the new mystery. The woods rang with the voices of the crowd and the rocks made answer to their jubilation. The brothers sang, paying their debt of praise to the Lord, and the whole night resounded with their rejoicing. The saint of God stood before the manger, uttering sighs, overcome with love, and filled with a wonderful happiness.

(Thomas of Celano, THE FIRST LIFE OF ST FRANCIS, CH XXX, NOS. 84-85)