Saturday

Lately, I've been in a pregnancy funk. Can you get ppd before the baby arrives? It's because my due dates are nearing and I'm confronted with the fact that I won't deliver between Sept 12-25, like originally planned with the twins. Now my due date is Oct. 7. Brutal.

And I just miss having baby Henry inside me.

And I wish we had a name for this little girl still alive and kicking.

I took the kids to the sprinkler park this morning. Gino had to work, and we were all going stir-crazy. I decided to forgo the support hose for this little outing, and we all got on our swimsuits. Sprinkler parks are a marvelous thing. Lots of different spraying gizmos on a soft pavement spewing lots of water. Very fun. Anyhow, there was a mom with a double stroller...and as she got closer, I could see two very very new babies reclined in the stroller-one in pink, the other in blue. I'm glad I was wearing my sunglasses. I felt so sad and incomplete and truly lost. It surprises me sometimes, the grief that I feel towards the loss of my baby. And yet... I still have a healthy, vibrant baby, growing inside.