Now you are 3!

You smile and laugh from the start of the day through the end of the night. You love to cuddle with "Mama" still and when you get hurt, you insist I kiss it. After I kiss your hurt, you quickly declare that you are all better and off you go! You have always preferred my hair down. You sleep with a pink bear and a yellow race car. You have the kind of hair that women find irresistible and must run their fingers through it. You are sunny and funny. I'll never forget after a very long day of grouchy children and even grouchier mom, I was tucking you into bed, thinking to myself, "I have got to do better tomorrow." You put your arms around my neck and said, "I forgive you Mama". At the time I thought it was a funny thing to say, but later that evening, and to this day, I remember what a profound thing you said. You are a beautiful child of God. Slow to anger (unless someone has something that you really really really want) and quick to forgive. I love you Tommy Bear!

Happy Easter!

We rose early this morning, to go to 7:30 a.m. mass. This served two purposes: 1. to fight the "masses" at church; 2. to catch our kiddos off-guard and early enough, that they have no energy to act up! :)
I think we were successful on both counts!! We arrived at 7:30 exactly and sat our whole family 3 rows from the front! The children were well-behaved!! And this allowed me and Gino to actually enjoy Easter mass. It was beautiful and joyful and trumpets and Easter lilies. Fr. Tom's sermon was very straight-forward, "Live your faith everyday." Kind of aiming for the Christmas/Easter crowd. But that is OK! Because, the Good Lord knows I need this gentle reminder, too!!!

The children and I have been working on cascarones, (confetti-filled eggs). After much prompting from my sister, we are finally adding this tradition to our Easter celebration. Although her eggs are much more vivid... that's what I get for using the dollar store kit!!!

Wishing you and your families and joyful Easter Season!!

For my nephew, JP

This is such a quick, easy gotta-have chocolate pleaser. And besides, who doesn't keep Semisweet chocolate in the house?!

Molten Mocha Cakes from EVERYDAY FOOD,Jan/Feb 2007, pg.48

serves 2 * prep time: 10 minutes * total time: 35 minutes
If you want to double or triple this recipe, just add 3 minutes or so to baking time.

2 T. unsalted butter, plus more for ramekins
1/3 c. confectioners' sugar, plus more for ramekins and serving
2 oz. semisweet chocolate, broken into pieces
1 large egg
1 large egg yolk
1 tsp. espresso powder (I substituted with cinnamon)
pinch salt
3 T. all-purpose flour

1. Preheat oven to 400. Butter two 6 oz. ramekins, then dust with sugar. Place butter and chocolate in a microwave-safe bowl. Microwave on high in 20 second increments, stirring after each, until melted. Let cool slightly.

2. Meanwhile, in a small bowl, whisk together egg, egg yolk, sugar, espresso powder and salt. Add chocolate mixture; whisk to combine. Add flour, and whisk just until combined (do not overmix). Pour batter into prepared ramekins. (Recipe can be made ahead up to this point, see tip below.)

3. Bake until a toothpick inserted 1/2 inch from edge of ramekins comes out clean, and a toothpick inserted in center comes out wet, 10-12 minutes (do not overbake). Cool 10 minutes on a wire rack. Runa a knife around inside of ramekins to loosen. Invert cakes onto serving plates. Dust with sugar; serve immediately.

How to make ahead:
Cover ramekins with plastic wrap after step 2; refrigerate up to 1 day. Bake 14-16 minutes.

forever, for always and no matter what

It's just been one of those days where I wonder what have I gotten myself into, as a Mom. The children have been fighting or getting into mischief from the very start of the day. The highlight came when I took them to the library and they were running around screaming and tackling each other while I stood in line to check-out with the baby in my sling. I wanted to cry. I wanted to scream. I wanted to disappear. I wanted to run out the door. I wanted to ... but I didn't. We somehow made it home. I fed them. I sent them to bed. Than I remembered how stinky (and consequently, uncomfortable) they were. So, I bathed them. Than I put them back to bed. And when I tucked each of them in, I thanked God for sending me these sanctifying little souls. And I sang to them.

I'll love you forever.
I'll like you for always.
As long as I'm living,
my baby you'll be.

They (4 and almost 3 years old) just melt with this song. They love it. It is of course, from the book, "I'll love you forever" that I can't read without crying. Tonight, I was so grateful for it, because it reminded me of all the other mom's out there, who have had rough days, and all the mom's out there who will always have it harder, and all the women out there, who would love to have a rough day like me.

I got this from Summa Mama's Homekeeping Meme

Aprons- Y/N- depends on what I'm making... and if the kiddos are helping. When they help, everyone gets an apron. If it's a red sauce definitely. My favorite apron? My Pampered Bride apron that is signed by family and friends.

Baking-- yes, cookies or brownies. favorite? chocolate chip cookies!

Clothesline- Y/N-- Nope.

Donuts-- I have never made a donut in my life. I really try and just avoid them. (love/hate relationship)

One homemaking thing you do every day-- hmmm... cook? almost everyday.

Freezer-- Do you have a separate deep freeze? no, I would love a separate freezer... but we get by without one!

Garbage Disposal-- Y/N? Yes and I am thankful!

Handbook-- What is your favorite homemaking resource? my mom or my sisters - the internet is a fair back-up

Ironing--Love it or hate it? HATE IT, and I am terrible at it. Gino has those great Non-Iron shirts from BrooksBrothers.

Junk drawer--Y/N? Where is it? In my kitchen and the bathroom

Kitchen: Design and decorating? It's a 50's style kitchen with wood cabinets and yellow laminate countertops. All the appliances (including washer and dryer) are white. It's pretty big for the era it was built. We hope to move the w/d out next month!

Love: What is your favorite part of homemaking? Preparing a meal and eating together as a family.

Mop Y/N -- oh yes - wood floors everywhere... get mopped once a week

Nylons-- uh... no

Oven-- Do you use the window or open the door to check? both

Pizza-- What do you put on yours? I'm a supreme gal.

Quiet-- What do you do during the day when you get a quiet moment? read, get on the computer or call my sisters.

Recipe Card Box Y/N? yes

Style of house-- fifties style, hardwoods throughout, very simple- my favorite home

Tablecloths and napkins? Usually placemats. Most nights paper napkins, but sometimes cloth. - ditto

Under the kitchen sink-- organized or toxic wasteland? Organized. Some cleaning supplies and garbage bags is all...

Vacuum-- how many times per week? I have hardwood floors--no vacuuming. I swiffer all the time!

Wash-- How many loads of laundry do you do in a week? hmm... maybe 10?

X's-- Do you keep a daily list of things to do and cross them off?-- sometimes, if I have lots to do before my parents come visit, or we're having guests over.

Yard-- Who does what? The whole family. I love gardening, the kiddos love helping (?) and Gino is in charge of the grass!

Zzz's--I check doors, get a glass of water, check and kiss the kiddos and Gino, wash my face and teeth, than read.

Anyone else can play that wants!

Gone weedin'

This morning was absolutely beautiful outside. Finally, a day to get out in the garden and dead-head and weed.

I haven't been out there since the spring. It was too hot and I was too pregnant over the summer- than the fall came and I had a new baby and little time or sleep. Winter is almost past, and so it was such a treat to let Spikey run around outside, while I cleaned out the gardens.

This is probably my favorite gardening chore. Dead-heading. Getting rid of all the dead leggy growth that zaps the plants of energy and is unfruitful. I have the best prayer time as I meditate about what God wants me to dead-head in my life. What is zapping me of energy and is not fruitful? Many things. TV. Computer. Any relationships? Yes, those too. In each of these areas of my life, I have the opportunity to rearrange how I spend my time. This is something I will continue to examine in my life as this week continues. The forecast is set to be in the 70s - and for that I am grateful. I have a lot of clearing out to do!!!! And how timely, as lent begins this week.

Happy Birthday, JP

JP, you are the best baby brother a girl could ask for. I remember rocking you in the swings, singing to you when you were as small as Puddin is in this picture. I remember teaching you to dance with me when I came home from college, so I wouldn't forget the steps, and so you would know how to impress the girls. I remember dragging you off to whatever Youth Group event was going on, as a new Youth Minister, because than at least one person would be there. :)
I am so very proud of you - finishing up your last year at USaFA. How very exciting to know your next location, the next chapter, what great challenges lay ahead, and how sweet the journey has been. You have taught me about setting goals, and keeping them in sight so that you can than attain those very goals. Love you!!!! rita

On being Ruthian

The kids and I picked up my MIL today to take her to lunch.

My MIL is in her seventies and has Parkinson's'. It is always a trip with her. She told me for the first time (again) that she has Parkinson's' and that she cannot eat any wheat or flour. (I've only been around for 9 years, but hey, everyone needs a little reminder now and then, right?)

Two and a half hours later, we emerged from the restaurant. I was exhausted. Than we drove her to her hair appointment where she was going to get her hair washed and curled. She told me all about the gal who does her hair. She's awful. She uses her FINGERS to separate the curls, instead of a comb or brush. I found my MIL's disdain for the woman really funny. I mean, LOL funny. Every time I mentioned the salon (my kids ask lots of questions)- she would say, "I'm going to get my hair washed and curled and than combed with FINGERS." * you have to say it with lots of emphasis and disdain in your voice. Anyhow, I'm sure this is only funny to me, so, I'm sorry.

My sweet MIL could not remember exactly where this salon is, so we drove around for a bit, real slow, and annoying all the other lovely shoppers who are just trying to go along their own way. (I wanted to tell them all, "I'm sorry, I cannot control the fact that I don't know where I'm going!- she's in charge here!!!")

Well anyhow, we made it, and it was lovely.

The funniest line of all was when I first picked her up and she said, " whew! I took EXTRA pain killers today so I wouldn't be hurting, and honey, I'm flying!"

Love is in the air...

Happy Valentines Day!

I have a lunch date with Gino & Puddin' this afternoon. I have more to post, but the kids want breakfast, or something.

Okay, it's about 8 hours later but I'm back. The kiddos are having "quiet time" in their rooms and Puddin' is laying on the floor fighting a nap.

My Gino and I ate at this fabulous and romantic place called La Duni. They are a Latin American restaurant that smells like a yummy kitchen and looks like a boutique when you walk in. Huge cakes with lots of fluffy toasted icing and layered with large pinkish reddish roses make the divider between the bar area and the eating area.
(Oh! The nap finally won... Puddin' is out)
The food is delicious but we're really there for the desserts. Quatro Leches Cake. Indulgent. That is the only word I can think of that will do it justice. Anyhow we had a great talk... these days, it always goes back to, "how can we make things at home run smoother?"... It's a never-ending discussion. Which is easier, having him work late on the weeknights, meaning, he doesn't get home until 8 ish and but we get him for the whole weekend , OR, having him home around 6:30, we eat dinner together, but he has to work at least 5 hours on the weekend? Either way, I hit my wall by 4 each day and I'm pulling my hair out, trying not to scream at the kiddos as they continue to do whatever the hell they want. And by the weekend, I'm seriously thinking of calling a doctor, any doctor, and telling him he needs to numb me out because I need a break. A mental, physical, emotional and spiritual BREAK.

So, where does this leave me spiritually? With little time to even desire prayer in my life. Heck, yelling and jumping and crying doesn't work. What makes me think prayer will help??!! hmf! Now I'm sounding like my four year old. Lorraine, my dear friend who I miss so much I will cry if I think about it, reminded me yesterday... "Rita, let's face it, you know I love you, but you're not the most patient person."

WHAT?! ME? Not patient?!

Okay... maybe not. This made my eyes water. Because it stung. It was true. I had not thought about it in a long time. But I was becoming less and less patient with the people I love. Gino, Kiddo, Spikey... everyone except Puddin. Now, I am on my knees praying for patience. I need it. I need a HEAVY dose of LOVE to go with this patience. So, for Valentines day, and perhaps as a prelude to LENT... I am seeking to love more and to be more patient.

LORD, have mercy!!!!!!

Well here is my puddin'. She's 4 months old for this picture.
My little Love.

Three kiddos are kickin' my bootie. I feel like I'm running in circles all the time. From dressing them to feeding them to cleaning up after them, plus dishes, washing clothes, cooking meals, than feeding more kiddos, not to mention breast-feeding and diapering and burping and just cuddling whoever needs to be cuddled...
I'm losing my mind. Seriously, gone. Now, add in a sassy four year old with more stubbornness than even me, and we have got a mama on the verge of a nervous breakdown.
Gotta go nurse the puddin.

welcome to the world, baby girl!

Sophia Marie Frances was born on October 4, 2006.
She was induced because my doctor was worried that she was no longer thriving in the womb. Gino and I said a prayer to St. Francis of Assisi, as it was his feast day, and asked for his prayers for a healthy baby, speedy and healthy labor and delivery. She was born less than 5 hours after being induced!! Amazing!! She is beautiful and kissable and sweet smelling. Most days you will find me nursing her, kissing on any one of the kids... (I'm very affectionate/emotional these days)... or sleeping. Not much gets done around here, but that's okay!

39 weeks

Here I am! It is almost time... I have had contractions or, rather, good ol' false labor consistently for the last 2 days. Hopefully, it won't be long before we get to lay eyes on this sweet girl.

Thank you for all your prayers for a smooth labor and delivery and, most importantly, HEALTHY baby!!

God bless!

Hi there! I just wanted to update you on my pregnancy and our baby...

I was able to get a Level 2 sonogram last week, and the perinatologist assured us that our baby is growing healthy, and that my placenta and amniotic fluid level are healthy as well. He couldn't stress enough that this was one healthy- and petite - baby!! Praise God!!!

Today, I saw my OB doctor and he noticed I had a huge growth spurt! From 30" two weeks ago to 36" (measuring the uterus)!!! AMAZING!!! Anyhow, between the baby changing position (head down) and all that good rest and relaxation (hah!) we are progressing along. I want to thank you for all your prayers and calls of support and love. You have fed us, prayed for us, played with our kiddos and even cleaned for us! I am very humbled by all this attention and show of love. Thank you is not enough- we hold you in our prayers.

My official due date is Oct. 7, so we have a little more than 3 weeks to go! (or maybe a little less??- only time will tell!)

Again, thank you for all your prayers and love.

blessings!

Please pray for this little baby girl. I had my OB appt. today and doctor is concerned with her lack of weight gain. Basically, my placenta is not doing it's job. To say that I'm freaked out is an understatement. I'm on bedrest- doc's orders, and so hopefully my body can focus it's energy and blood on the baby.

My church's mother's group and the former retreat group are organizing some meals, and a schedule for the children for the next two weeks. That will be a huge help.

Mainly, what I need from you all are your prayers. Please storm heaven for our little daughter's healthy growth.

love,
rita/aka.veronica

my husband fulfilled my dreams tonight...

You see, I've had this fantasy of owning a Honda Odyssey for about 3 years. It was red for awhile- than it was colorless- and all about the space. Room enough to transport a friend and her kid if I needed to. Our family car has been the VW Passat. With two big car seats in the back, you can't fit anything (or anyone) else back there. Now with baby on the way, my husband has come to terms with our needing a larger vehicle.

I have to brag on him. I'm so proud of how he patiently pounded the pavement all day Saturday, than drove home with a van for me to "check out" that night. I loved it. But it had too many miles on it and we wanted to get the most out of our "new to us" used minivan. So, back to the dealership it went. And so went Gino, back to the dealerships. Today, he found it. An '04 with 32k miles. He whittled that price down to exactly what we could afford!!!! Leather interior. DVD player. super condition!

I am a very happy minivan mom!

Now, about that. I have been a VWpassat driver for over 5 years. I always figured that when I wasn't toting kids along, I had a secret image. People could mistake me for some hot-to-trot woman who went to a sophisticated job everyday. They might even wonder if I was available- because of that yuppy look...

But. No. MORE. I am now the driver of a minivan. I must have at least 3 kids and be married. Now I will have to settle for the "just another mom" with a mission (feed the kids and get to wherever on time) image.

That's okay. I'm really REALLY okay with that. Remember, I fantasized about this moment.

hometown

We live in Gino's hometown. Meaning, he's lived here since he was 5 years old. I am a military brat. Meaning, I never lived anywhere longer than 4 years. I've lived in Arizona, Panama, Texas (3 times, 3 different cities), California, Oklahoma, Ohio, Massachussetts... I think that's all of 'em. Going to college for my four year degree was the longest I stayed in one place- because it took 4.5 years.

So, what's my point? Well, it seems that most social things Gino and I do have to do with friends or colleagues of his. Now, granted, I'm a SAHM, so I don't have any colleagues that I see every day. Yes, there are plenty of SAHM that I am good friends with, and I would love to hang out with them more- but I'm afraid they're doing the same thing. Socializing with their spouse's peers.

I get the added bonus of socializing with one of Gino's friends that I see at a wedding shower... fast forward three years, and we get an invite to their two-year old's birthday party. I just have to ask- why oh why would you invite me and my family to your son's birthday party when I haven't seen you in three years- and before that, never??!! Or invited to a wedding of a friend that he knew in highschool, and hasn't seen since?? (15 years ago!)

I just don't get it.

So, I guess this comes down to this: this is my husband's hometown. He has childhood/elementary/highschool/college buddies that live around here. And they like to keep in touch. Which is sweet and all that....

Maybe I'm jealous. Maybe I yearn for that relationship with a deep or, at least long, past. Who knows. In the meanwhile, I'll try to get over myself and grin and bear it. Maybe someday we'll have lived here long enough (seven years so far) that I'll feel like it's my hometown. What makes your town feel like home to you?

Saturday

Lately, I've been in a pregnancy funk. Can you get ppd before the baby arrives? It's because my due dates are nearing and I'm confronted with the fact that I won't deliver between Sept 12-25, like originally planned with the twins. Now my due date is Oct. 7. Brutal.

And I just miss having baby Henry inside me.

And I wish we had a name for this little girl still alive and kicking.

I took the kids to the sprinkler park this morning. Gino had to work, and we were all going stir-crazy. I decided to forgo the support hose for this little outing, and we all got on our swimsuits. Sprinkler parks are a marvelous thing. Lots of different spraying gizmos on a soft pavement spewing lots of water. Very fun. Anyhow, there was a mom with a double stroller...and as she got closer, I could see two very very new babies reclined in the stroller-one in pink, the other in blue. I'm glad I was wearing my sunglasses. I felt so sad and incomplete and truly lost. It surprises me sometimes, the grief that I feel towards the loss of my baby. And yet... I still have a healthy, vibrant baby, growing inside.

happy friday

this morning I set a record in our family... out the door with both kiddos, dressed, eaten, and grocery list in hand!!! (trumpet sounds galore)
We were home by 10! Which is about the time I start thinking I need to get to the grocery store. It was a glorious feeling. And even better- the temp. was not yet 90!
So, I had a weird/sweet encounter with my bagger at the store. The Kroger's I like to shop at employs all kinds. There are a few, like my bagger today, who have downs syndrome. Ricky was very smiley as he carefully placed the food in the bags and loaded our cart back up. As we headed out to the parking lot, he just kept smiling and looking at my baby bump. He patted his stomach and said, "baby?" "yep," I said. Now, he is pushing a cart with all my groceries, and I am pushing the cart with my kiddos (the big SUV cart). We are walking side by side and he keeps walking towards me, while pushing the cart, and looking at my tummy, smiling. Than he reaches out- (oh no) he hesitates- comes closer- and pats my tummy. What can I do? I just smile, and say, "this baby's getting big!" I'm embarassed and caught off guard and touched by his genuine curiousity. Okay, so we get to my car, he is loading the food and I am loading the kids. I am in the middle of buckling my 3yo when he finishes, comes around the side of the car and says, "see you later". Than he pats my tummy again! This time he says, "beautiful"- in a kind of sigh. Very sweet. And this time, the annoyance I felt earlier, left me. Immediately I knew that he truly appreciated the preciousness of this life. I drove out of the parking lot reflecting on the beauty of him. And the beauty of this pregnancy.

relaxin

Yesterday was my birthday and it was such a great day. The kids came in and woke me up singing the birthday song- very cute to hear a 2 & 3 yr old sing this as they grin broadly! Gino picked up some pan dulce from a bakery, and my fave coffee drink. Than we just hung out outside, the kids played in the sandbox in their pj's while we read the newspaper and caught up with my neice, Angela, who had just returned from Israel and had spent the night. In the afternoon we all went to see Cars. Everyone enjoyed the movie, than we caught the 5 o'clock mass. The kids were tired, and we held them throughout the mass, which was kind of nice, because I could actually listen and pay attention. For dinner, Gino made Lamb kabobs! yummo! He also had couscous and grilled tomatos! gourmet man! I was very impressed! It was all very delicious. All in all, a sweet and relaxing birthday.

relaxin

Yesterday was my birthday and it was such a great day. The kids came in and woke me up singing the birthday song- very cute to hear a 2 & 3 yr old sing this as they grin broadly! Gino picked up some pan dulce from a bakery, and my fave coffee drink. Than we just hung out outside, the kids played in the sandbox in their pj's while we read the newspaper and caught up with my neice, Angela, who had just returned from Israel and had spent the night. In the afternoon we all went to see Cars. Everyone enjoyed the movie, than we caught the 5 o'clock mass. The kids were tired, and we held them throughout the mass, which was kind of nice, because I could actually listen and pay attention. For dinner, Gino made Lamb kabobs! yummo! He also had couscous and grilled tomatos! gourmet man! I was very impressed! It was all very delicious. All in all, a sweet and relaxing birthday.