only once every four years, right?

I just wanted to send you a little taste of our day. We got into the spirit of gardening, planted all our seeds in trays. I have a new spot designated for our future vegetable garden... :)
Anyhow, the kiddos were playing great together in the backyard, on the swings, and Fefe was staying with the older two. So, I went to the front yard to prune and deadhead some plants. I heard the kids take turns going inside to put on their swimsuits to pretend to swim... and about 5-10 minutes later... this is what I found.



I told them I was taking picture to incriminate them. That I needed their Daddy to see what mischief they were getting into. I don't think they believed me. I made a conscious decision to not punish them because I was mostly to blame... I was in the front. So, they had a very very long bath, including changing the bath water to get cleaner water in it!! Then pj's and we gathered all the pillows and blankets and watched "Mary Poppins".

whooped

Hubbie just got home from work. I have had a long day discerning various levels of wants, needs, demands, cries, whines, pouts, and yes, a few laughs here and there.

I am working on a post about my experience with prayer that was mentioned briefly here.

It has been a lesson of trial and error for me, and will continue to be but I'll get to that soon.

Pray for this mama, please, that I can navigate through the end of March with Hubbie's insane work hours. I often feel like a single mom who has a bed warmer!! ;)
Yes, we're talking 14 hour Hard Day's Night, 8 days a week.

Yes, I'm a Beatles fan.

old fashioned play builds serious skills

My Hubbie listened to this short story on NPR this morning and immediately brought it to my attention.

It seems that the era of playing with nothing, (also called, imaginative play) has ended. It ended with the dawn of the Mickey Mouse Club and advertisement for toys on a regular basis, not just once a year (Christmas.)

Almost overnight, children's play became focused, as never before, on things — the toys themselves.

"It's interesting to me that when we talk about play today, the first thing that comes to mind are toys," says Chudacoff. "Whereas when I would think of play in the 19th century, I would think of activity rather than an object."

Howard Chudacoff is a cultural historian at Brown University. I quite agree with him and when I think about my play time as a kid, I remember 3 toys: legos, blocks and baby dolls. The legos seamlessly transformed from food to a phone to medical equipment as my little sister and I played house, grocery store, doctor, library and school, to name a few. The blocks were telephones, stamps, dishes, etc. We didn't have the play food, play kitchen or play house. It was called a bedroom or a swing set. But in our minds' eye, it was a small house with 9 children sharing one bedroom. Or a schoolroom made up of monkeys, teddy bears, elephants and cabbage patch kids, all getting an equal chance to learn how to read.

Nowadays we fill our children's bedrooms with too many toys that limit their imagination and stifle their creative free play. I am at fault. I point my finger to myself as much as to anyone else who is still reading this post.

When we were trying to sell our home, we decluttered all the kids' toys. We stored everything except blocks, books, cars and barbies. They did not miss any thing else. They didn't ask where the fisher price little people and all their farms, castles, houses, zoos and trains went off to. They reinvented the blocks each time they sat down with them.

We know that children's capacity for self-regulation has diminished. A recent study replicated a study of self-regulation first done in the late 1940s, in which psychological researchers asked kids ages 3, 5 and 7 to do a number of exercises. One of those exercises included standing perfectly still without moving. The 3-year-olds couldn't stand still at all, the 5-year-olds could do it for about three minutes, and the 7-year-olds could stand pretty much as long as the researchers asked. In 2001, researchers repeated this experiment. But, psychologist Elena Bodrova at the National Institute for Early Education Research says, the results were very different.

"Today's 5-year-olds were acting at the level of 3-year-olds 60 years ago, and today's 7-year-olds were barely approaching the level of a 5-year-old 60 years ago," Bodrova explains. "So the results were very sad."

This study just serves to remind me that it makes little sense to rush off and enroll my 3 year old or my 5 year old in soccer or ballet. They will be fine if we wait another two years. They are gaining something much more important right now, the ability to self-regulate...and hey, it's a lifetime skill that I am still honing!

whew!

Well, the Beyond Cana retreat was a very fulfilling weekend, with 8 amazing couples. The team did a fantastic job, and I just think we had a positive experience on a whole during this go-round.

My Spikey and Fefe had surgery yesterday and that went well. Fefe had tubes though you would never know, she is acting like nothing happened. Spikey had his second set of tubes, plus adenoids out. He is a bit cranky these past two days, thankfully everyone is actually napping right now!

My valentines gift was a new computer which we finally unpacked and put together last night. YEAH!!! It is beautiful and slick and fast!! I feel so very modern now. ooh lala!

My Mom came up on Sunday and left today. She helped with the kids during the surgeries- basically took Kiddo off our hands for the whole day. They went shopping and to the movies and had such a good time that Kiddo threw a fit this morning she was so upset to see her Noni leave.

All is settling back into somewhat normal mode around these parts, except Hubbie will continue to work insanely long hours for the next two months, as the end of the fiscal year runs through the end of March. So... I may have to get online to rant and rave every once in a while. Just remind me that this will past.

With that in mind, I am going to go to my room and REST. Did you hear me?? I said, "rest!" I know, I know, it's an anomaly but I'm gonna try my darndest so as to keep my head on straight this afternoon when I am missing my Hubbie as the kiddos test me, try me and push me.

my funny valentine

Tonight I am covered in glitter. Glitter is like sand. It gets everywhere. But what would a homemade valentine's card made by a 5 and 3 year old be without the sparkly dust???

Nevermind the kitchen table that has glue and construction paper and markers and LOTS of glitter covering the surface.

My son said it all when Hubbie asked him, "how do you show love to someone?"
He responded, "uh, you cook for them!"

water less

Last night, while working on our talk for the Beyond Cana retreat, we heard water gushing. It was running down our hallway and into Spikey's room!! Hail Mary! Luckily, the beach towels and bucket were accessible. Our washing machine flooded- a hose came loose and five gallons of water later...
This is fixable though and we will not be deterred!

checking in

Hi there! Just checking in very very briefly to ask for your prayers. Fefe no longer has an ear infection!! Yeah!!

Please pray...

We are all healthy right now, and I pray that this continues.

Hubbie and I are preparing for the Beyond Cana marraige retreat this weekend. Please pray for the couples putting on the retreat and those attending.
Please pray for our families and any other obstacle that may come our way! St. Michael, pray for us.

Our computer is broken. We are trying to quickly find an affordable computer! Meanwhile, I am on hubbie's laptop that he makes available in the evenings.

Speaking of hubbie... he is working crazy crazy hours. Which means I am too. Please pray that we can continue to support each other, be patient with each other and cut each other some slack- all as we prepare for this weekend!!
Have I mentioned how much I am looknig forward to this weekend?!
God bless you!!!

spikey on spiders

So Spikey and I were playing with his farm animals near the bookshelf when along came a spider and sat down beside her (Fefe). Naturally, I stomped on the eight legged monster that was threatening to my children.

Spikey looks at me with great big eyes (and in my mind I'm thinking he's going to be filled with admiration for his Mama who has no fear for such nasty hairy arachnids that threaten the very existence of her children) and says, "MOM! Doncha know that little spider eats all the mosquitos so I don't get bitten!!!???" And than he looked down in horror at the squashed messy remains of a little spider.

I truly felt bad.
So much for chivalry.

I promised a viewing of Charlotte's Web later on today. Truly, the best spider to live, ever.

it bothers me...

that my children know who the Jonas brothers are.
I've never seen these guys before in my life.

keeping afloat...barely

please pray for us! Fefe has an ear infection (or two) and is inconsolable these last two days and nights. I am hitting my wall... of course, hubbie is working lots and lots of hours, too, so we're just running on empty with very little sleep. I guess it didn't help that Kiddo and Spikey were home these last two days because their preschool had parent/teacher conferences!
thanks for your prayers!

odd odds sometimes bite

Hubbie took the older two kiddos to the museum this morning-

it's free, first Saturday of the month and they have some crafts set up especially for children.

Anyway, I stayed home with baby. I picked up a few things and than felt like it was just too gorgeous outside to stay in and clean. So I threw the babe in the stroller and went a walking.

Nice, it was a perfect crisp sunny blue day with 55 and climbing to 69. I LOVE this weather.

Fefe just babbled away, singing all kinds of songs to me...I opted not to take my Ipod, counting on some hit songs from this 15 mos old, instead. We stopped at the neighborhood playground, where I knew she would love to ride on the swings for a while.

She had a huge grin on her face and laughed as I pushed her on the swings. Next to us was a baby boy about the same size who was so sweet and happy- I could hear him laughing as we approached the park. Anyway, I got to talking to his mom and we figured the babies were about the same age.

"Her birthday is Oct 4, when is his?"
"Henry's is Oct 4, also!"
... Henry? Oct 4 too? my heart skipped a beat. That is the name of Fefe's twin.

I smiled and said something... I forget, but I was pretty lost after that. I just kept pushing Fefe, back and forth, back and forth.

And praying... Lord, guard my heart, Lord, guard my heart.
Thank you Jesus for my sweet children.

And why does grief find a way to bite you in the butt on such a perfect day?

this is my day

7:00 a.m. we woke up to Fefe crying. She was soaked to the bone...in urine. She had two bottles last night, and let's just say we got our money's worth from that diaper. So, I stuck her in the tub.

Spikey saunters in and says, "whys Fefe in da tub?"
me: "cause she's stinky."
him:"oh, I'm stinky, too." and he proceeds to strip and get in the bath.

okay, this is no biggie, they'll play a few more minutes and than I'll yank them out and get them dressed for the morning. But I didn't expect Kiddo to barge in...

5yo Kiddo: "What's going on in here?!"
clearly this is one party she did not get the invite to.
me: "your brother and sister were stinky."
her: "me, too!"
And than there were three...
I groaned, craved for my coffee, than sat back and watched them play.

pictures

I posted earlier about having the children's pictures done... here is a sneak peak. I get to see the rest tomorrow and I can't wait!

chicken soup, again?

I am cold.

When I get cold, I crave soup.

Lately, with all the ear infections, and virus/colds that my children have been sharing with each other, I have been making lots of soup.

Chicken soup. I have tried a few different versions of chicken soup, discovering what tastes the yummiest. I prefer using the whole bird...the meat is much more tender. I like the carrots and celery chopped slightly big and I love adding noodles. So, that is what we have eaten all week. Do you think it really has a healing effect on colds?

No matter, it feels good ..AAACHOO!!....
don't mind me.
What is your favorite soup recipe... you know, the kind that you crave on a wet and cold day?

Hours to Pray through

I have been lurking about on Jen's website at et tu? getting great inspiration to pray the liturgy of the hours. So, you know what? I gave it a try. I LOVE IT!!! I can't believe I had never prayed the Liturgy of the Hours before, being a cradle Catholic and all, and now I feel like I have missed out.

I pretty much use her rules, because they are very practical for a stay-at-home mom with little ones. So, a big, huge "thank you!" to Jen.

My anchors are now the prayers that are implanted throughout my day. I am no longer running in scattered circles, from cleaning up breakfast to starting laundry to dressing the kiddos to dressing myself and back to breakfast, and the reckless-mom-cycle continued all day long until I collapsed on the couch utterly disgusted with myself because nothing got done, and I was exhausted. Now, my days are broken into "before prayer" and "after prayer." I, too, light candles at the start of evening and stop my work (except nighttime routine) and the children love the lit candles. It brings a sort of calmness upon our home and a completion to the day.

THANK YOU, Jen.

The first crib at Greccio

Fresco of the first crib by Giotto and assistants in Basilica of Saint Francis in Assisi

"I wish to do something that will recall to memory the little Child who was born in Bethlehem and set before our bodily eyes in some way the inconveniences of his infant needs, how he lay in a manger, how, with an ox and an ass standing by, he lay upon the hay where he had been placed." When the good and faithful man heard these things, he ran with haste and prepared in that place all the things the saint had told him.

But the day of joy drew near, the time of great rejoicing came. The brothers were called from their various places. Men and women of that neighbourhood prepared with glad hearts, according to their means, candles and torches to light up that night that has lighted up all days and years with its gleaming star. At length the saint of God came, and finding all things prepared, he saw it and was glad. The manger was prepared, the hay had been brought, the ox and ass were led in. There simplicity was honoured, poverty was exalted, humility was commended, and Greccio was made, as it were, a new Bethlehem. The night was lighted up like the day, and it delighted men and beasts. The people came and were filled with new joy over the new mystery. The woods rang with the voices of the crowd and the rocks made answer to their jubilation. The brothers sang, paying their debt of praise to the Lord, and the whole night resounded with their rejoicing. The saint of God stood before the manger, uttering sighs, overcome with love, and filled with a wonderful happiness.

(Thomas of Celano, THE FIRST LIFE OF ST FRANCIS, CH XXX, NOS. 84-85)

what makes you tick?

I was asked this question yesterday, and slowly I'm unpacking it in my mind. What makes you react? What makes you think? What makes you laugh?

Reactions come quick and sharp when I'm hungry and tired. Or when I haven't had time to be still... pray and gather my thoughts all by myself. Being with my husband or a close friend and actually conversing with them-about things that matter, stuff of the heart and soul, is refreshing and replenishing to me.

My husband makes me laugh. He has a great, dry and witty humor, an uncanny ability to laugh at himself and the situation. My children make me laugh-often without meaning to, just by the circumstance that they wind up in such as when Fefe got stuck in the baby doll stroller, or when Spikey barrels down on the baby to kiss her toes...and the baby reacts with a giggle.

My family makes me think about how I grew up and what was important to me as a child. Looking up I see two examples -my childhood and family (then and now) and my husband's childhood and family (then and now). Both are so very different from each other. I struggle with ensuring my children a childhood filled with love, compassion, understanding and fun. I fear that they will look back and think of a mama who yelled, got frustrated and sometimes, cried. Although...maybe that is not such a bad thing. Maybe it is okay for them to see this part of me, too. After all, why should they be misguided to believe that it was all fun and games? This is the stuff of life. Frustrations, happiness and messes are all rolled up to evolve and shape itself within the very beings of us. Those imperfections are what we seek in one another, confirming that indeed, we are never alone.

play time

This is how my kids play together. They are all over each other. Laughing, screaming, crying, kicking, pushing, tackeling, and cackeling all the way... UNTIL, "MAMA!!!" Someone has been pushed too hard, tossed too much or pinched too often. Taming them is out of the question because this behavior is in their very core; like asking them to stop picking their noses, or keep their hands of the baby. Impossible. Both, they find irresistable, like playing rough with each other. So, I try to just tune out a little, kind of like leaving one ear bud out, just enough to listen for it to go too far, which, it will.

december morn

Today, I met a photographer out at the Arboretum to take pics of my three monkeys. It was such a weird morning, weather-wise. But the children were able to wear some great layers, and than we did a "dress-up" series with tu-tu's and cowboy hat/boots. Very fun to watch them interact with another grown-up, and ham it up for her. It has been over 2 years since I got their pictures done, and the last time was a family shot. I was four months pregnant with twins and those pictures were to capture a pivotal moment for our family. Little did we know how true that was to be. We lost baby Henry soon after and Sweet Sophia was born in October. I am still grieving our loss and it is a major milestone to even admit that to myself. This is one event that I will always question God in his infinite wisdom. Why?
I wonder if I'll always feel like I'm missing another.
This morning was almost therapeutic in watching my children and feeling the sadness and joyfulness and peacefulness. I am blessed, more than I deserve.

august heat

So... it's hot here. triple digits hot. Fifi is cutting some teeth, her nose is running and she is eating my bracelet. I missed my run this morning. Red had to get into work early and so it was just not going to happen...although, if I had taken Fifi in her stroller, we could have worked it out... but than, what would be the point of running? (exercise? I don't think so! ALONE TIME)

well after Fifi unplugged the computer... nice, sparks included... we left for a playdate. Now I'm home and my kids are chasing each other, spitting at each other and telling me how mean the other one is. I am so so tired of this that I just ignore. Blah blah blah, I can't hear you!
When do they get enjoyable again???